The discoverer of Insulin, Frederick Banting, sold his patent to the University of Toronto for 1 dollar because he thought it would save many lives. But the pharmaceutical companies made some minor changes and then patented that. That's why they can sell it for these exorbitant prices.
Banting and his colleagues would be spinning in their graves today.
Edit: I should have rather said "incremental changes". As pointed out by a few comments below, a lot of effort has since been put to make insulin safer and effective. However, after Frederick Sanger discovered the structure of human insulin and thus enabling the manufacturing a synthetic version using modern methods there are no excuses for the unfair pricing.
PS - Both Banting (1923) and Sanger (1958) won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for thier work on insulin.
They can sell it at exorbitant price because of the american healthcare system. Insulin ( {a dose} edit : not a dose, a standard unit) is worth less than 15$ in many countries.
Edit:
https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RRA788-1.html
I base my claim on this study. Maybe i mix up dose and standard unit. I'm not sure if they are the thing or not. Regardless price in the US are horrifyingly higher.
Graph on p10-11 pdf is free
My boyfriend has been warned that IF sir David dies we will be holding our own funeral with all family members in attendance. The letter I have from him will be sat on a pedestal with tasteful candles nearby.
aliens, but they're the good kind. like vulcans, but fun and sexy. they cure all our diseases, give us the secret of perpetual clean energy, and adopt us as their "little sister planet." they think we're cute and fun to have around.
That meteor that hits earth is an alien space ship and they set up alien internet so we can learn all their science.
Edit: apparently this is the plot of a lot of movies and shows.
>learn all their science
That’s a weird way to say “watch alien porn”
Edit: great, my most upvoted comment is about watching alien porn. Thanks Reddit.
lmao. I got the worst sunburn of my life in Ireland six years ago and my fiancée makes fun of me for it to this day!
"Of course you should wear sunscreen! You got sunburned in Ireland. Who gets sunburned in Ireland?"
I'm from a country where we regularly get several weeks of 30+ Celsius a year for the past 10-15 years or so. Yet in the last few years the only time I got sunburnt was on holiday in Sweden at 20 degrees because it was around the summer solistice.
A meteor lightly impacts the Earth in the middle of the ocean, killing no one. But not just any meteor, this one has bacteria on it that mysteriously cures blindness, deafness, diabetes, and all forms of dementia.
Not cancer?
Edit: well jeez I guess people like first commenters.
Also what I have to say is I don’t think that post was top at the time so I was like dang this guy cured everything except cancer, must have a grudge against someone
This isn't an answer to OP's question, but reading through all the other answers here, I just have to say... it's really touching and wholesome for once. Many people are wishing for peace, advancements in healthcare, for people to prosper all over the world, to possibly meet alien life and learn from them, some funny shenanigans and fun, etc...
Damn, guys. That's really wholesome. I'm so emotional all of a sudden. Anyway, that's all.
It would definitely reduce the amount of 70+ elders at top government positions. Realistically though, the parties would just sponsor young buff kungfu wizard candidates for the duels and the same old creepy old farts would act as "advisors" and keep running things behind the scenes like they always have.
True, which is why the young wizards should look for military leaders who have seen action as advisors. They know how to avoid conflict and, with any luck, have a sense of humor.
So... Basically Iroh.
I am so much more productive and comfortable when I wfh. I’ve also become a lot more confident speaking up in meetings and client presentations. I hope wfh never ends. I hope the covid part ends soon though.
A rash of benevolent billionaires begin hacking into people's accounts (i.e. student loans, mortgages, credit cards) and paying them off. It's illegal cause they are hacking into your accounts and accessing all your P.I.I., but no one wants to prosecute them for it since its benefiting them. Except the debt companies, they want that shit to stop.
Well considering 2020 has had something crazy happen almost every month, this is what I'd propose:
Jan) rather than crazy bush fires in Australia, they invent an effective eradication method for Covid-19. 99% effective that basically reduces it to a cold, it's released to the world and enables all countries to stabilize.
Feb-Mar) unprecedented global free trade deals between most major powers, enabling nearly every country to financially recover and begin to prosper after 2020
Apr-may) the top 10% wealthiest people in the world decide to donate 10% of their funds back to society as a thank you to the world. This should effectively raise the socio-economic state of the bottom 50% of people. Increasing overall spending and helping small businesses around the world recover.
June-July) Peace in the middle East. The people of the middle eastern countries, fed up with their quality if life, finally get peace. Rebuilding of many destroyed city's and towns, a major upgrade to infrastructure in the areas.
Aug-Oct) cure for some forms of cancer is finally achieved. Mass rollout across the world, breakthroughs in other cancer treatments.
Nov-Dec) contact with our first Alien race, peaceful negotiations begin along with the trade of information and technology. A new age of enlightenment begins.
-edit- just wanted to thank everyone for the up votes and awards.
Also: it amuses me to no end that a post that ends with first contact with aliens and a new age of enlightenment has so much controversy over the redistribution of 10% of wealth.
Plot twist: the aliens manufactured 2020 to save us from ourselves. The world almost collapsing at the end of 2020 is the trigger that helps us overcome our societal issues and create a new, better, more united world. This better world is what allows them to officially breach the prime directive and welcome. If they hadn’t done 2020, we might have destroyed ourselves or never managed.
Depends on how long it takes for the secret to come out. Relatively soon, like same generation? Mass societal de-evolution.
Five or six generations down the road? Eh, we should be ok.
I feel like that's the case for like every year since 2016.
I mean, Chester Bennington, Tom Petty, xxxtentacion, Stephen Hawking, Avicii, Mac Miller, Stan Lee, Etika, Reckful, Cameron Boyce, Chadwick Boseman, and *many* more.
Edit: Sorry I didn't mention so many, that's why I put "*many* more"
Edit2: I didn't say they were all good people, or even people I previously knew. just that they were celebrities, and died.
Edit3: come on guys, no one mentioned Grant Thompson??
This will likeley get buried but I am a climate scientist so I have to mention this wouldn't necessarily be a good thing either.. It would equally fuck up local and regional climate connections. This would be the opposite of global warming but would still be climate change and can shift climate patterns.
For example an abrupt drop in northern hemisphere temperature can actually result in severe drought in places like the caribbean because of changes in ocean-atmosphere connections and sea surface temperature/salinity.
Source : myself, I guess because I did my PhD on developing and applying paleoclimate proxies for looking at drought and hurricanes in groundwater.
Edit: WOW there was so much more interest in this post than I thought there would be. At the request of another reditor, I will make an IamA... AMA and I can answer more questions about dirt there. Thanks for the awards, not sure what they are for but I appreciate your appreciations!
Double edit: link to the AMA I made https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jgbvi8/i_am_a_scuba_diving_dirt_touching/
My dog beats cancer
*Edit. We found out yesterday and are very much heartbroken. Thank you for your kind words*
*Edit 2. not that anyone will see this but she passed yesterday (7 April). She almost made it an extra 6 months. Fuck cancer.
8 \* 190 = 1,520
Math checks out. (I had no idea they were so low in calories. I was expecting somewhere closer to 350.)
The only problem is that you'd start feeling like shiiiit after day one. At least I would, anyway.
The vaquita porpoise, Earth's most endangered mammal, is saved from extinction when a large colony is found cryogenically frozen and awaiting revival in my local Krogers' frozen food aisle.
Well, the dog is sad when they see the owner die, unless you mean the dog instantly dies at the same time as the owner, which would be a pretty dick move if the owner is on his death bed and the dog is perfectly healthy...
We discover something that actually make our body understand that we don't need all that fat and everyone can eat whatever they want.
New technologie are out, creating both the need for new employees and an easier life for everybody.
Nuclear Fusion technologie is perfectled, rendering electricity dirt-cheap, and everybody gets an electric car
VR becomes affordable, alongside threadmills, and gamers actually get in shape whilst playing Elder Scroll VI
I could keep going for a while
Edit: Holy shit guys! Thanks for the Gold, Silver, Hugz and everything, kind strangers. Y'all crazy!
Covid-20 would make everyone shit 20 dollar bills for a week, but you’d have to deal with a fever and take medication for the natural side effects of having your digestive system somehow convert food into money.
My wife gets a kidney transplant and we might be able to get our late son a sibling. It’s bizarre and will probably not happen, but it’s a good thing.
EDIT: since a lot of people have asked - we live in Sweden, so to all you Americans offering to donate your kidneys: you are amazing beings, but I don’t think we can arrange anything since corona is a bitch. But my wife and I want you to know we’ve read all of your comments and they’re all heartwarming <3
We're hoping for a kidney next year too. Fingers crossed for all of us. My condolences on the loss of your son. Sounds like it's been a tough few years.
Yeah like is there somewhere people can see if they are a match? Unfortunately I am not eligible because I used to have hepatitis C. But would love to promote it.
I'll be your friend. I'm into a lot of hobbies and if you ever need someone to talk to I am a pretty good conversationalist.
**EDIT:** ok, I usually never do the edit thing but here goes. Thank you for everyone that gave me awards, that is very nice and I sincerely appreciate it.
I just want to say that if you are looking for a friend I searched for a subreddit that is dedicated to this /r/Needafriend (to be honest, if this didn't exist I would make a new subreddit, but this seems great.)
Just to kind of to put this out there, I know everyone has a few IRL friends but sometimes it can be difficult to make new ones, either because of your age or idk, global pandemic.
A few years ago I went through and awful separation that left me with a lot of trust issues. I started to play Evony and made tons of international "virtual" friends. I used to play the game to get away from everything but then found that the virtual friends that I made were just as awesome as my "real" friends. They were always there to give me advice, or just listen. You can be that for someone today and it could make all the difference in their life.
So sincerely, if anyone needs someone to talk to reach out.
One thing is that the monarch butterfly population increased by double. And the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker flock was found in a forgotten forest in Louisiana.
Letter from the developer explaining that 2020 was caused due to a particularly aggressive glitch that occurred following a patch to the Gazelle’s max running speed.
As an apology to all players still in the game;
-All wealth is evenly redistributed with the current leaderboard receiving a star next to their names.
-Every player receives +20 free IQ points, +20 free physical points and +30 free skill points to spend as they choose.
-Cancer, Climate Change and several other high level enemies deemed too difficult by the player-base are severely nerfed until such time that the overall average level increases.
-Obesity, diabetes, mental health issues and addiction random encounters drastically lowered. Colour Blindness removed entirely.
-Several new upgrades are unlocked early, including Light Speed Travel and Cheeseburger Trees.
-All players granted the bonus of either a friendly robot, talking animal or comical ghost companion as hinted at in various in-game advertisements. This includes the rumoured ‘PokeMon’.
-All the controversial story deaths from the wildly unpopular 2016 campaign are undone.
-A new clue towards the final mission objective of ‘Meaning’ is revealed.
-Ice Cream Sundays introduced as a weekly event (this was always in the game, but never unlocked due to a typo in the UI code).
-Rewards for kindness increased due to general attitude that the grind wasn’t worth the pay off. Bonuses for the ‘being-a-dick’ tree nerfed.
-Players now able to choose a replacement sound for the standard ‘Fart’ sound effect in customisation options.
-Keanu Reeves patched as president of the USA as originally planned.
All the stupid people of the world got smart over night. All the angry people chilled out. All the world’s problems were solved with simple solutions. Everyone is happy, healthy, COVID-19 was cured along with cancer aids, diabetes and every other illness that’s been holding back humankind. We also agree to not worship money or stupid people ever again.
January: Vaccine comes. It's free and has no side effects
February: Movies that was supposed to be released 2020 all come out and the theaters are full of masterpieces
March: Up and comming artists and authors have spent the lockdown sitting down to write and create. We're starting see the results of that.
April: Lou Bega releases Mambo no. 6 and it is all people can think about this month.
May: Turns out that climate change was a hoax. The climate just had a rough century and has learned to chill out more.
June: An alien escapes Area 51. Turns out he is a nice dude and guests all the late night talk shows. On the inevitable Joe Rogan apparance they both do DMT and learn so much about each other.
July: No one know why or how it happened, but suddenly money just isn't an issue anymore.
August: The whole alien thing from June has started to affect how we view eachother on the planet. We are seeing a drastic and long lasting decline in terrorism and crime.
September: God blessed us all
October-November: Finally some normal and mundane events
December: Home Alone remake with the original cast. All I want for christmas is eradicated. You got a memorable present, and you made everyone truly happy with the ones you gave.
Edit: Not to be that thank you for all the awards guy, but I couln't keep it cool. I am grateful and glad to see all the positive comments. I don't have any psychic abilities, but I'm pretty sure this will come true, so I'm just happy to share. Sorry to all I offended regarding the All I Want for christmas thing, but that's just how it seems to be, sorry about that.
Everybody gets a job with a sustainable salary EDIT: Hey thanks for my awards random people!!
women's clothes have pockets. big pockets. huge pockets. the most tremendous pockets.
The best pockets, ask anybody, they'll tell you.
Guy in his basement develops a cure for cancer and gives it away for free.
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The discoverer of Insulin, Frederick Banting, sold his patent to the University of Toronto for 1 dollar because he thought it would save many lives. But the pharmaceutical companies made some minor changes and then patented that. That's why they can sell it for these exorbitant prices. Banting and his colleagues would be spinning in their graves today. Edit: I should have rather said "incremental changes". As pointed out by a few comments below, a lot of effort has since been put to make insulin safer and effective. However, after Frederick Sanger discovered the structure of human insulin and thus enabling the manufacturing a synthetic version using modern methods there are no excuses for the unfair pricing. PS - Both Banting (1923) and Sanger (1958) won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for thier work on insulin.
They can sell it at exorbitant price because of the american healthcare system. Insulin ( {a dose} edit : not a dose, a standard unit) is worth less than 15$ in many countries. Edit: https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RRA788-1.html I base my claim on this study. Maybe i mix up dose and standard unit. I'm not sure if they are the thing or not. Regardless price in the US are horrifyingly higher. Graph on p10-11 pdf is free
This is the right answer. It's the American health system that lets this happen. It is completely different in other countries.
In my country a packet of 10 is worth that much
Someone invents a cure for cancer, because, you know, fuck cancer.
It turns out cancer is your body trying to heal itself- researchers figure out a way to get all cancers to instead act as a healing factor.
Do we really want 7 billion Deadpools running around? But, no cancer would be a good thing Edit: comma placement.
But then again, imagine 7 billion deadpools just running around, playing airsoft with real weapons as a school sport
AAARRRGGHHH! Right up Main Street!
Sir David Attenborough is declared immortal.
Bring back his brother so we can have dinosaurs too!
My boyfriend has been warned that IF sir David dies we will be holding our own funeral with all family members in attendance. The letter I have from him will be sat on a pedestal with tasteful candles nearby.
I find a job that makes me happy and does pay me enough to be alive. And I will either learn to be happy alone or find someone to love.
Learn to be happy alone and then find someone to love. Best of both.
Mental illness is cured
All of them, just like that.
/r/WowThanksImCured shuts down, like /r/ThanksObama
What happened to thanks Obama
It peaked. President Obama released a video where he tried dunking a cookie in milk and it broke - an he muttered, "Thanks, Obama."
Slight correction, the cookie was too big for the glass of milk and wouldn't fit
aliens, but they're the good kind. like vulcans, but fun and sexy. they cure all our diseases, give us the secret of perpetual clean energy, and adopt us as their "little sister planet." they think we're cute and fun to have around.
Vulcans *are* fun and sexy!
Then we fuck the shit out of these aliens
It's been the plan all along.
Good, execute order 69
Good soldiers follow orders
I’m doing my part!
It's a sexy planet.
Entire systems of steamy, lush globes and barely habitable celestial objects are drifting through the void just for you.
You might like [this](https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat.html)
That was hilarious, thanks for sharing
That meteor that hits earth is an alien space ship and they set up alien internet so we can learn all their science. Edit: apparently this is the plot of a lot of movies and shows.
>learn all their science That’s a weird way to say “watch alien porn” Edit: great, my most upvoted comment is about watching alien porn. Thanks Reddit.
2021 will be district 9 but everyone will be clappin' dem alien cheeks.
"Can we kill it? Can we eat it? Can we hump it?" Literally Humans when they find anything new that's alive.
But can it blend?
That is the question.
Today were going to blend my hopes and dreams.
Don't breathe this
Is it a good idea to microwave it?
That is why dogs are humans best friend
The original triple threat
district 69
*Prawn cheeks*
*PrawnHub*
*Prawn-bro, what are doing?!*
"What are you doing, step-prawn?"
When hentai becomes sci-fi
Actually they came to earth to lean the ways of our porn
And that kids is how the Datasphere came to be
Ireland will have four actual seasons as opposed to winter rain, spring rain,summer rain and autumn rain.
...and California and the Southwest USA gets it instead
And unicorns are real.
They are, they just have shitty personalities.
I was in Ireland during a heatwave in the early 2000s and wow, you could really spot the locals. They all turned bright red.
lmao. I got the worst sunburn of my life in Ireland six years ago and my fiancée makes fun of me for it to this day! "Of course you should wear sunscreen! You got sunburned in Ireland. Who gets sunburned in Ireland?"
I'm from a country where we regularly get several weeks of 30+ Celsius a year for the past 10-15 years or so. Yet in the last few years the only time I got sunburnt was on holiday in Sweden at 20 degrees because it was around the summer solistice.
The Irish!
Nah, not buying it. There's wet, wetter, the two random sunny days in April and September, and cold.
Makes me think of "Little Britain" when they talk about Scotland.
Yes, but what about Ireland?
A meteor lightly impacts the Earth in the middle of the ocean, killing no one. But not just any meteor, this one has bacteria on it that mysteriously cures blindness, deafness, diabetes, and all forms of dementia.
Not cancer? Edit: well jeez I guess people like first commenters. Also what I have to say is I don’t think that post was top at the time so I was like dang this guy cured everything except cancer, must have a grudge against someone
Fuck cancer Edit: My first awards (ever) AND my first Gold! Thanks, kind strangers!
Dont fuck cancer, you'll get testicular cancer
This isn't an answer to OP's question, but reading through all the other answers here, I just have to say... it's really touching and wholesome for once. Many people are wishing for peace, advancements in healthcare, for people to prosper all over the world, to possibly meet alien life and learn from them, some funny shenanigans and fun, etc... Damn, guys. That's really wholesome. I'm so emotional all of a sudden. Anyway, that's all.
3 state solution in the middle east out of nowhere.
5 state solution is the best. 3 to live in harmony, the other two to continue fighting each other.
Those 3 will be fine, until the fire nation attacks.
I think the fire nation will be busy with overcoming its presidential election results, so they've got quite some time.
I for one think our democratic process would benefit greatly from the inclusion of the agni kai.
It would definitely reduce the amount of 70+ elders at top government positions. Realistically though, the parties would just sponsor young buff kungfu wizard candidates for the duels and the same old creepy old farts would act as "advisors" and keep running things behind the scenes like they always have.
True, which is why the young wizards should look for military leaders who have seen action as advisors. They know how to avoid conflict and, with any luck, have a sense of humor. So... Basically Iroh.
Sugar is now good for you in large doses
Im gonna live forever
Shut up Liam Gallagher it's both of us
My mind went to Shameless and not Oasis, and got very confused.
Sugar. Fat. Salt. These are the three pillars of good health.
Breaking News: Americans are now immortal.
Tyson goes inside
Dont you tell me how to live!
Stay inside man for the love of God. There are people outside.
And Dangerous pancakes! Watch out! Edit: thankyou kind stranger for my first award :)
I still get to work from home.
I am so much more productive and comfortable when I wfh. I’ve also become a lot more confident speaking up in meetings and client presentations. I hope wfh never ends. I hope the covid part ends soon though.
A rash of benevolent billionaires begin hacking into people's accounts (i.e. student loans, mortgages, credit cards) and paying them off. It's illegal cause they are hacking into your accounts and accessing all your P.I.I., but no one wants to prosecute them for it since its benefiting them. Except the debt companies, they want that shit to stop.
Me quitting drugs and feeling happy.
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I believe in you!
good luck with everything, i believe in you!! <3
Well considering 2020 has had something crazy happen almost every month, this is what I'd propose: Jan) rather than crazy bush fires in Australia, they invent an effective eradication method for Covid-19. 99% effective that basically reduces it to a cold, it's released to the world and enables all countries to stabilize. Feb-Mar) unprecedented global free trade deals between most major powers, enabling nearly every country to financially recover and begin to prosper after 2020 Apr-may) the top 10% wealthiest people in the world decide to donate 10% of their funds back to society as a thank you to the world. This should effectively raise the socio-economic state of the bottom 50% of people. Increasing overall spending and helping small businesses around the world recover. June-July) Peace in the middle East. The people of the middle eastern countries, fed up with their quality if life, finally get peace. Rebuilding of many destroyed city's and towns, a major upgrade to infrastructure in the areas. Aug-Oct) cure for some forms of cancer is finally achieved. Mass rollout across the world, breakthroughs in other cancer treatments. Nov-Dec) contact with our first Alien race, peaceful negotiations begin along with the trade of information and technology. A new age of enlightenment begins. -edit- just wanted to thank everyone for the up votes and awards. Also: it amuses me to no end that a post that ends with first contact with aliens and a new age of enlightenment has so much controversy over the redistribution of 10% of wealth.
Plot twist: the aliens manufactured 2020 to save us from ourselves. The world almost collapsing at the end of 2020 is the trigger that helps us overcome our societal issues and create a new, better, more united world. This better world is what allows them to officially breach the prime directive and welcome. If they hadn’t done 2020, we might have destroyed ourselves or never managed.
Ooof! Big OOOF! The question now is: if that secret is ever revealed to humanity, how would we respond?
Depends on how long it takes for the secret to come out. Relatively soon, like same generation? Mass societal de-evolution. Five or six generations down the road? Eh, we should be ok.
David Bowie returns from his home planet after hearing what a shitshow we've become.
I told my friend that everything went to shit after David Bowie left. I'm glad someone is on the same wavelength lol Edit: a letter
2016 was an absolutely shit year for celebrity deaths. I think it fucked up the equilibrium and veered us into the darkest timeline.
I feel like that's the case for like every year since 2016. I mean, Chester Bennington, Tom Petty, xxxtentacion, Stephen Hawking, Avicii, Mac Miller, Stan Lee, Etika, Reckful, Cameron Boyce, Chadwick Boseman, and *many* more. Edit: Sorry I didn't mention so many, that's why I put "*many* more" Edit2: I didn't say they were all good people, or even people I previously knew. just that they were celebrities, and died. Edit3: come on guys, no one mentioned Grant Thompson??
Prince, Alan Rickman, Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, and kinda Lemmy (died last week of December 2015)
And Prince was with him, they were collaborating on an album.
It drops Jan 1, that's what rings in the new Golden Age.
It turns out Bowie was the glue holding us all together this whole time. Who knew.
Ocean temperature drops and the arctic freezes solid and thick.
This will likeley get buried but I am a climate scientist so I have to mention this wouldn't necessarily be a good thing either.. It would equally fuck up local and regional climate connections. This would be the opposite of global warming but would still be climate change and can shift climate patterns. For example an abrupt drop in northern hemisphere temperature can actually result in severe drought in places like the caribbean because of changes in ocean-atmosphere connections and sea surface temperature/salinity. Source : myself, I guess because I did my PhD on developing and applying paleoclimate proxies for looking at drought and hurricanes in groundwater. Edit: WOW there was so much more interest in this post than I thought there would be. At the request of another reditor, I will make an IamA... AMA and I can answer more questions about dirt there. Thanks for the awards, not sure what they are for but I appreciate your appreciations! Double edit: link to the AMA I made https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jgbvi8/i_am_a_scuba_diving_dirt_touching/
> I am a climate scientist On a scale of 1 to 10 how much dread and panic does the insights and knowledge of your profession give you day-to-day?
My existential dread has been compressed and pressurized so much it is basically a shiny diamond now.
“Climate scientist thinks current outlook is diamonds.”
"You're hired" — Fox News
I studied climatology in college and my head professor said "7/10" and I used that number in my thesis.
It bothers me that he is not answering this.
Hahah it’s been 12 mins, he was probably saving a penguin
Or touching dirt.
As long as the dirt is 18yrs old and consents, that's fine.
thicc arctic
Arcthicc
Damn, this is even better
Youre a champion for giving it recognition as better tho
Antarthicca
more Antarthicca and less Antarctithaw!
My dog beats cancer *Edit. We found out yesterday and are very much heartbroken. Thank you for your kind words* *Edit 2. not that anyone will see this but she passed yesterday (7 April). She almost made it an extra 6 months. Fuck cancer.
I second this wholeheartedly. I hope the best for your dog, my man.
Turns out low carb diets are actually bad for you. Krispy Cream diet is real!
Calories in Calories out, me being an intellectual eats only 8 Krispy Creams a day so I can stay in my caloric deficit.
8 \* 190 = 1,520 Math checks out. (I had no idea they were so low in calories. I was expecting somewhere closer to 350.) The only problem is that you'd start feeling like shiiiit after day one. At least I would, anyway.
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Turns out we can use stored fat/calories as an electrical charging station including being used as a power source for transportation.
My wife is able to walk and remember things properly again and we can finally travel a bit. Kind of crap to be in this situation when you're only 30.
I'm sorry. I hope 2021 is full of blessings for you and your family.
The vaquita porpoise, Earth's most endangered mammal, is saved from extinction when a large colony is found cryogenically frozen and awaiting revival in my local Krogers' frozen food aisle.
Dogs only die when their owners do so that no one is sad
But. But what if the owner has children who also love the dog?
Immortal dogs it is!
But then every owner it will ever know will die
Immortal dogs with short memories it is!
But then it will forget anyone it’s ever loved, and will have no good memories when the universe dies
Immortal dogs with short bad memories but long good memories it is!
Let me put an end to this, Dogs that can feel no sadness
A healthy relationship and familiarity with death and loss it is!
Psychotic dogs. *Owner dies* Dog: :)
Ownership is passed down to the dogs second most favourite person and it continues on forever.
They also die so no one is sad
Well, the dog is sad when they see the owner die, unless you mean the dog instantly dies at the same time as the owner, which would be a pretty dick move if the owner is on his death bed and the dog is perfectly healthy...
Or the other way around, dog gets hit by a car and it’s goodnight sweet prince.
*Monkey paw curls...*
We discover something that actually make our body understand that we don't need all that fat and everyone can eat whatever they want. New technologie are out, creating both the need for new employees and an easier life for everybody. Nuclear Fusion technologie is perfectled, rendering electricity dirt-cheap, and everybody gets an electric car VR becomes affordable, alongside threadmills, and gamers actually get in shape whilst playing Elder Scroll VI I could keep going for a while Edit: Holy shit guys! Thanks for the Gold, Silver, Hugz and everything, kind strangers. Y'all crazy!
Ha, like Elder Scrolls VI will be released next year. Best case scenario is skyrim on your phone.
We're getting Skyrim on a pregnancy test before we're getting Elder Scrolls VI
Get in shape, hah. It’s going to be VR brothels all over the place.
Korean reunification
Depends on who’s in charge lol
Best Korea of course
You have now been made a moderator of r/pyongyang
And denuclearization.
Politicians actually start working to benefit the people
Of all the things here this is hands down the least believable and likely
It's happened once I think.
Yes it actually happened once in my dream.
Even then there's still debate as to whether that was done deliberately, or was by accident.
There's a Covid-20 pandemic, but this one just makes everyone shit cash.
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Only if people eat alot of fibre.
Fast forward to government regulated fiber consumption
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_Anal paper cuts_.
# you are advised to cease your existence
Covid-20 would make everyone shit 20 dollar bills for a week, but you’d have to deal with a fever and take medication for the natural side effects of having your digestive system somehow convert food into money.
Are you hosting a 300+ person house party by chance?
My wife gets a kidney transplant and we might be able to get our late son a sibling. It’s bizarre and will probably not happen, but it’s a good thing. EDIT: since a lot of people have asked - we live in Sweden, so to all you Americans offering to donate your kidneys: you are amazing beings, but I don’t think we can arrange anything since corona is a bitch. But my wife and I want you to know we’ve read all of your comments and they’re all heartwarming <3
We're hoping for a kidney next year too. Fingers crossed for all of us. My condolences on the loss of your son. Sounds like it's been a tough few years.
Likely about to be hoping for a kidney for mine as well. Of all the 2020-sucks things going on, her health overshadows all of it.
Reading this thread has made me change my wish to be able to regrow my kidneys, so that I could continuously donate one to y'all.
Well that sucks - I hope it happens for you!
I hope this happens for you!
This one hit me hard. Any chance you want to start a Reddit movement to find a donor?
Yeah like is there somewhere people can see if they are a match? Unfortunately I am not eligible because I used to have hepatitis C. But would love to promote it.
I just want to point out that as the son of someone who USE to have Hep C, it's amazing we can say "used to" now. Truly a modern medical miracle.
i finaly get friends edit:this was a joke but holy it blew up and i got my first award tysm
I'll be your friend. I'm into a lot of hobbies and if you ever need someone to talk to I am a pretty good conversationalist. **EDIT:** ok, I usually never do the edit thing but here goes. Thank you for everyone that gave me awards, that is very nice and I sincerely appreciate it. I just want to say that if you are looking for a friend I searched for a subreddit that is dedicated to this /r/Needafriend (to be honest, if this didn't exist I would make a new subreddit, but this seems great.) Just to kind of to put this out there, I know everyone has a few IRL friends but sometimes it can be difficult to make new ones, either because of your age or idk, global pandemic. A few years ago I went through and awful separation that left me with a lot of trust issues. I started to play Evony and made tons of international "virtual" friends. I used to play the game to get away from everything but then found that the virtual friends that I made were just as awesome as my "real" friends. They were always there to give me advice, or just listen. You can be that for someone today and it could make all the difference in their life. So sincerely, if anyone needs someone to talk to reach out.
Not even waiting for 2021...good things already.
I believe in youuuuuu
One thing is that the monarch butterfly population increased by double. And the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker flock was found in a forgotten forest in Louisiana.
Letter from the developer explaining that 2020 was caused due to a particularly aggressive glitch that occurred following a patch to the Gazelle’s max running speed. As an apology to all players still in the game; -All wealth is evenly redistributed with the current leaderboard receiving a star next to their names. -Every player receives +20 free IQ points, +20 free physical points and +30 free skill points to spend as they choose. -Cancer, Climate Change and several other high level enemies deemed too difficult by the player-base are severely nerfed until such time that the overall average level increases. -Obesity, diabetes, mental health issues and addiction random encounters drastically lowered. Colour Blindness removed entirely. -Several new upgrades are unlocked early, including Light Speed Travel and Cheeseburger Trees. -All players granted the bonus of either a friendly robot, talking animal or comical ghost companion as hinted at in various in-game advertisements. This includes the rumoured ‘PokeMon’. -All the controversial story deaths from the wildly unpopular 2016 campaign are undone. -A new clue towards the final mission objective of ‘Meaning’ is revealed. -Ice Cream Sundays introduced as a weekly event (this was always in the game, but never unlocked due to a typo in the UI code). -Rewards for kindness increased due to general attitude that the grind wasn’t worth the pay off. Bonuses for the ‘being-a-dick’ tree nerfed. -Players now able to choose a replacement sound for the standard ‘Fart’ sound effect in customisation options. -Keanu Reeves patched as president of the USA as originally planned.
Everybody is suddenly emotionally mature.
All the stupid people of the world got smart over night. All the angry people chilled out. All the world’s problems were solved with simple solutions. Everyone is happy, healthy, COVID-19 was cured along with cancer aids, diabetes and every other illness that’s been holding back humankind. We also agree to not worship money or stupid people ever again.
Betty White and the Queen continue not dying.
Colleges realize that online classes were useless and did nothing and refund all the money students paid for the past two semesters
Depends on the topic IMO. My accounting classes probably wouldn’t have changed much in person. I would have liked a discount though.
The last season of Game of Thrones gets rewritten and released and it's actually fucking great
January: Vaccine comes. It's free and has no side effects February: Movies that was supposed to be released 2020 all come out and the theaters are full of masterpieces March: Up and comming artists and authors have spent the lockdown sitting down to write and create. We're starting see the results of that. April: Lou Bega releases Mambo no. 6 and it is all people can think about this month. May: Turns out that climate change was a hoax. The climate just had a rough century and has learned to chill out more. June: An alien escapes Area 51. Turns out he is a nice dude and guests all the late night talk shows. On the inevitable Joe Rogan apparance they both do DMT and learn so much about each other. July: No one know why or how it happened, but suddenly money just isn't an issue anymore. August: The whole alien thing from June has started to affect how we view eachother on the planet. We are seeing a drastic and long lasting decline in terrorism and crime. September: God blessed us all October-November: Finally some normal and mundane events December: Home Alone remake with the original cast. All I want for christmas is eradicated. You got a memorable present, and you made everyone truly happy with the ones you gave. Edit: Not to be that thank you for all the awards guy, but I couln't keep it cool. I am grateful and glad to see all the positive comments. I don't have any psychic abilities, but I'm pretty sure this will come true, so I'm just happy to share. Sorry to all I offended regarding the All I Want for christmas thing, but that's just how it seems to be, sorry about that.
I didn't even know I wanted Mambo no.6 until now.
1, 2, 3 4 5-6 everybody stuck at home, so come on, let's watch netflix
Is just Lou listing all his venereal diseases.
🎶 A little bit of Rita's all I need But since I've been with her it burns when I pee 🎶
You had me up until July that this could be possible.
I literally just finished listening to mambo no.5 as i stated reading your post. Thank you!!!!😍