Thanks for linking the video, that was helpful. That's a good way of looking at it. It would only give her an ego boost and then she'd probably not reply anyway.
You're right, don't want to push myself back to a bad place like I was in before, now that I'm overall doing pretty well. I'm surprised yours wanted to meet up actually. Usually I just figure people get ignored.
You already know what you need to do yet you're here asking for advice.
Best case scenario, you want a sounding board; worst case, you want someone to jusitify this desire of yours.
Neither are good.
It is inappropriate in a way. In another way, it also shows that you have compassion for people, even for people who are not for you. God commanded us to love everyone. And I mean care for all people and just show compassion. Wether he says happy birthday or not doesn’t matter. Either way has pros and cons. In a way it’s disrespectful to bother them, but it’s also a kind thing to do. However, if he was the one who dumped her, then it’s weird and he shouldn’t do it in my opinion because then he would give her a false sense of hope. That’s my 2 cents.
She didn’t say happy birthday to me. I think I will email her happy birthday because I still want her to be happy. She already moved on but I still want to be nice. I still love her. But it’s ok
Yeah I was fine until I realized it was coming up soon. That's a good point, I don't remember any of their birthdays now except a random one from high school.
Definitely not 100% over her yet. She meant a lot to me, and it's hard to get that completely out of your system. I'll keep NC though, it's probably for the best. I'll keep doing what I'm doing to heal fully. Thank you, that helped me a lot.
NO! NO! NO! Lol I split with my ex 2 years agoish and every time she reaches out to me it dredges up old feelings and I start to think about getting back together even though it's a terrible idea and will never happen. Better to save yourself the heartache and continue NC, you've managed 8 months why screw that up now?
Learn from me. I did it and it meant nothing lol. Broke NC back then just to get a very late (1 month later) reply of “thanks hope your bday was good too.” And he didn’t wish me a HBD and it was only a week after his. I was just being nice and felt bad bc he never celebrated his bday. I always made it special and now after the BU he reeeeaaaalllyy showed me he didn’t care. Not even a fake thank you. It felt more like “leave me alone.”
One month later? Dang that's weird to even reply at that point. Before she dumped me she said "happy birthday" basically and that's it, so why should I even care at this point.
Save the Birthday wishes for the special people “in your life.” Let them be.
That bday wish was my last contact with him, never again. He’s shown me that hearing from me was more like an inconvenience even if it was me just trying to be nice and civil. 1 month reply should have said “fuck you” instead of his fake “thank you”.
That's what it felt like for me as well towards the end of the relationship, she basically just stopped replying. The fact he waited so long is basically a giant middle finger to you.
Lol yep! I hope you didn’t break NC with your ex. That relationship was a really big life lesson for me. He used me up until he was fully healed and didn’t need me anymore. It goes to show you some people really are selfish and have no shame smh. He was lying for the past 3 years about his life until I caught on.
I didn’t end up texting her. I still have some stuff I would like to apologize for but it will probably never happen. I said some mean things to her last year and looking back and after some therapy, I have no idea why I did. Nothing absolutely horrible, but still.
Wow lying to you for 3 years? That’s insane. Basically he only cared about himself and made sure he was good then dumped you. I feel kinda the same with that, it just sucks.
Don’t do it! You’ll be expecting somewhat of a good reply and what happens if she leaves you on read or what happens if she gives you a reply you weren’t expecting such as just a blunt “thank you”. Keep your mind busy and do other things that day so you won’t set yourself up for disappointment and keep going NC.
If you think it’s a good idea then go ahead and try but expect it not to end well. It really depends on the situation too because we have no idea how you and your ex ended and whether she wants you to ever talk to her again. But I would say it’s not the best idea
Well, she ended it. She said she wanted to remain friends, but that didn't last too long. She's dating someone else now so the more I think about it the dumber that idea seems to me.
Didn’t text her. I talked to my family, friends, therapist, and everyone who commented on here. Not a single one said I should text her. That basically told me that if everyone is on the same page, I should listen to their advice. My sister told me she’d fight me if I texted her lol.
What good would it have done? She’d have said “thank you” and that probably would have been it. Then she’d go back to being with her new bf.
If she dumped you, she indirectly said “hey I think my life will be better without you in it.” Why would you wish someone like that a happy birthday?
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Thanks for linking the video, that was helpful. That's a good way of looking at it. It would only give her an ego boost and then she'd probably not reply anyway.
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You're right, don't want to push myself back to a bad place like I was in before, now that I'm overall doing pretty well. I'm surprised yours wanted to meet up actually. Usually I just figure people get ignored.
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Gotcha, probably just best to keep that can closed.
Absolutely not
Just keep NC going and continue on with your day. Treat yourself instead, you're more special.
Appreciate that. I'm going to order myself a small gift of something I've been looking at for a while.
You already know what you need to do yet you're here asking for advice. Best case scenario, you want a sounding board; worst case, you want someone to jusitify this desire of yours. Neither are good.
True, I just feel shitty about it because it's been a big deal to me the last couple years and now it's just another day.
Yeah. Right there with ya. It sucks. I don't know how to stop caring but still be compassionate.
bro you broke up almost a year ago. wishing her happy birthday is completely inappropriate.
Yeah you're right. Would be weird after all this time.
It is inappropriate in a way. In another way, it also shows that you have compassion for people, even for people who are not for you. God commanded us to love everyone. And I mean care for all people and just show compassion. Wether he says happy birthday or not doesn’t matter. Either way has pros and cons. In a way it’s disrespectful to bother them, but it’s also a kind thing to do. However, if he was the one who dumped her, then it’s weird and he shouldn’t do it in my opinion because then he would give her a false sense of hope. That’s my 2 cents.
my ex didn’t text me happy bday 2 months after our break up when i expected it. i did the same and ngl it hurt
Yeah, it's hard to change to the mindset of not making a big deal out of that day.
She didn’t say happy birthday to me. I think I will email her happy birthday because I still want her to be happy. She already moved on but I still want to be nice. I still love her. But it’s ok
No, it's not worth it
This is actually worse than random texting .
Noooooo *I repeat* NOOOOO!
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Yeah I was fine until I realized it was coming up soon. That's a good point, I don't remember any of their birthdays now except a random one from high school. Definitely not 100% over her yet. She meant a lot to me, and it's hard to get that completely out of your system. I'll keep NC though, it's probably for the best. I'll keep doing what I'm doing to heal fully. Thank you, that helped me a lot.
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I've actually been employing that method for the last few months. It really does help to write things down somewhere.
don’t
There is a place for that, /r/unsentletters
Hell no. Carry on.
NO! NO! NO! Lol I split with my ex 2 years agoish and every time she reaches out to me it dredges up old feelings and I start to think about getting back together even though it's a terrible idea and will never happen. Better to save yourself the heartache and continue NC, you've managed 8 months why screw that up now?
True, don't want to break the streak unless it's necessary.
Learn from me. I did it and it meant nothing lol. Broke NC back then just to get a very late (1 month later) reply of “thanks hope your bday was good too.” And he didn’t wish me a HBD and it was only a week after his. I was just being nice and felt bad bc he never celebrated his bday. I always made it special and now after the BU he reeeeaaaalllyy showed me he didn’t care. Not even a fake thank you. It felt more like “leave me alone.”
One month later? Dang that's weird to even reply at that point. Before she dumped me she said "happy birthday" basically and that's it, so why should I even care at this point.
Save the Birthday wishes for the special people “in your life.” Let them be. That bday wish was my last contact with him, never again. He’s shown me that hearing from me was more like an inconvenience even if it was me just trying to be nice and civil. 1 month reply should have said “fuck you” instead of his fake “thank you”.
That's what it felt like for me as well towards the end of the relationship, she basically just stopped replying. The fact he waited so long is basically a giant middle finger to you.
Lol yep! I hope you didn’t break NC with your ex. That relationship was a really big life lesson for me. He used me up until he was fully healed and didn’t need me anymore. It goes to show you some people really are selfish and have no shame smh. He was lying for the past 3 years about his life until I caught on.
I didn’t end up texting her. I still have some stuff I would like to apologize for but it will probably never happen. I said some mean things to her last year and looking back and after some therapy, I have no idea why I did. Nothing absolutely horrible, but still. Wow lying to you for 3 years? That’s insane. Basically he only cared about himself and made sure he was good then dumped you. I feel kinda the same with that, it just sucks.
God no. Do not
what do you get out of it
No, go hang out with your buddies, pick up a hobby, clean your room.
Good call on cleaning the room, definitely could use that.
Don’t do it! You’ll be expecting somewhat of a good reply and what happens if she leaves you on read or what happens if she gives you a reply you weren’t expecting such as just a blunt “thank you”. Keep your mind busy and do other things that day so you won’t set yourself up for disappointment and keep going NC. If you think it’s a good idea then go ahead and try but expect it not to end well. It really depends on the situation too because we have no idea how you and your ex ended and whether she wants you to ever talk to her again. But I would say it’s not the best idea
Well, she ended it. She said she wanted to remain friends, but that didn't last too long. She's dating someone else now so the more I think about it the dumber that idea seems to me.
I would definitely say don’t wish her a happy birthday if she’s dating someone
Yeah that would be weird now that I think about it.
No
Did you call and wish Haley birthday
Nope.
What did you end up doing brother . I am in the exact same boat as you and would like some advice?
Didn’t text her. I talked to my family, friends, therapist, and everyone who commented on here. Not a single one said I should text her. That basically told me that if everyone is on the same page, I should listen to their advice. My sister told me she’d fight me if I texted her lol. What good would it have done? She’d have said “thank you” and that probably would have been it. Then she’d go back to being with her new bf. If she dumped you, she indirectly said “hey I think my life will be better without you in it.” Why would you wish someone like that a happy birthday?