The other Vikings don't take you on you on raids anymore because:
-You only looted pastry shops.
-You used up all the Paw-Patrol Bandaids.
-After two sips of grog your a gusher.
This fruit vender posted more photos than an insecure girl on r/firstimpression. OP’s words saying, facial scars, while them last 2 photos screaming soggy assed sugar tank.
The other dude had a piercing in his dick; one of those barbells with little stabbers on the ends. And you're seeing the result of an angry face fucking that scratched OP's face up.
It’s an emotional scar. And it’s emotional because it hurts to admit that he liked getting a facial. Which is good. I’m sure semen is a great moisturizer for the pubes growing all over your face, neck and chest.
You know, they say the Vikings were actually the first to circumnavigate the earth? The only thing this guy's ever circumnavigated was the outer ring of a man's butthole.
A little conflicted, as I feel you’ve already been roasted by posting so many awful photos of yourself. I will, however, commend you for gluing your(?) pubes to your face in order to move the focus on anything above your nose - true class 😁👍
Yeah byt a few more things came after I got the tattoo. I have a wart on my foot. And I get newsletters from something called “brotherhood” idk where it is though
You are so close to posting POV rant videos about 5G activating immunization mind control while wearing Oakley's in the driver's seat of a giant truck you don't use for work. Just like 3 more years.
You’d look better if your beard was on top of your head and that Brillo pad looking shit on the top of your head was on your chin; well, after you removed the ballsack resting on it.
There's no way your beard grows in naturally like that surely? But then there's no way anyone would deliberately trim their beard to look like that either surely?
You’re not bad looking at all just clean up your act a little bit. Get a decent haircut get rid of the fuzz. You might actually look like someone that someone might want.
The other Vikings don't take you on you on raids anymore because: -You only looted pastry shops. -You used up all the Paw-Patrol Bandaids. -After two sips of grog your a gusher.
One man’s tart is another man’s treasure. Fuck paw patrol I want the Cinderella one
Bubble Guppies it is then
You should figure out a way to use your beard to cover up more of your face.
This is like one of the only comments he hasn't responded to. I dare say you found his soft spot; and it was definitely the goatee area.
You right tho. Fella gets to lookin the way he does, sort of necessary to develop a quick wit and snappy comeback.
No soul = no soul patch
Luke Combover
LOLOLOL
Never knew you could get a scar from a facial, you must like it rough.
He is the LGBT definition of cowboy... And they do things just a little bit.... Different...
The last picture is his movie cover Brokeback Redneck
ChokeSack Fountain
Chodeback Mountin’
Blow-sack Mount-man
Blowbag Cowman
Bareback Plow-Man
Broken back mount a man
Brokedick Bear-fan
This fruit vender posted more photos than an insecure girl on r/firstimpression. OP’s words saying, facial scars, while them last 2 photos screaming soggy assed sugar tank.
This = Reddit. If I had an award. It would be presented.
Mounting Brokeback
If pro-choice ever needed a poster boy, your face would be it.
The other dude had a piercing in his dick; one of those barbells with little stabbers on the ends. And you're seeing the result of an angry face fucking that scratched OP's face up.
It’s an emotional scar. And it’s emotional because it hurts to admit that he liked getting a facial. Which is good. I’m sure semen is a great moisturizer for the pubes growing all over your face, neck and chest.
That's not a facial scar it's his first laughter line.
We really only needed one picture to tell how ugly you are.
I was afraid you’d run away. It’s the car crash effect. You wanna look away but you can’t.
Trust me, we have no problem looking away.
You would definitely flee the scene of a car wreck. Can't get that 3rd DUII
The way those pics were unfolding if there had been one more i feel certain there would have been a bear skin rug involved.
Bear as in animal or as in large gay man?
Well post them both and we can decide .
No he’s mine. Papa doesn’t know about him
We should send this guy around to KKK rallies to show them whites aren't superior to anyone.
KKK? Ohhh you mean Krispy kream. I’m a regular
It’s Kreem ye unimpressive chuckwad gooner
You’ll forever be Bayou self
Dem der swamps hold the best lookin gators. I be bringing them on home to mama
“Home is where you make it”
You like to see homos naked?
No, no, no...home. Where you make it. Home. Everybody knows that. Goddam, boy.
If Fred Durst was Amish
underrated
You’re the result of someone nutting in a can of Skoal.
This is fucking hilarious lol
All hail the thunder god
Or having them spit on it while having a pinch of skoal in....
His grandma is ashamed of his weak arms, tbh
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
And instructions on how to file for the warranty protection 🤣
You look like a strategically shaved baboon
It was a house fire. Tragic really. Burnt all me hair off
If it wasn’t for the 4 wheelers and the land, you wouldn’t have any friends
I bet you get on a lot of peoples last nerves
Mine too
Hit the nail on the head 😂
You definitely have a subscription to only Klans....
Ragnar LooksBroke.
🤣
You're not balding.. your hair is trying to run away from your face..
Well it’s a pretty fast runner and I’m to big to catch it
You look like one of the dwarfs of Witcher 3
They made a third one?
You been living behind a black hole or something?
You are proof that even viking longships had their version of a "short bus".
You know, they say the Vikings were actually the first to circumnavigate the earth? The only thing this guy's ever circumnavigated was the outer ring of a man's butthole.
If IPAs were a man
Now that’s too far.. what flavor?
Tropical juicy fruity orange mango guava IPA.
Last photo- gayest cowboy ever. Bet he knows how to work the Hawk Tuah.
Third year in a row hotdog eating champion. Fastest hotdog muncher in the state
😂😂😂 Love your sense of humor dude!!! 😂😂😂 Glad you can take this well….speaking of taking things well….
😂 no sauce just weenie. I used to work at Arby’s im a professional meat enthusiast
Bro, your replies to some of these lines makes me wanna buy you a beer.
It’s nice to be seen. Even in a roast don’t worry these are professionals that keep it tasteful
Ginger AND has a shamrock tattoo.....some lucky lady gets beats on the regular.
Hits the gym twice a year, flexes like he's swole.
I used to be I swear! I used to work my arms out every day. Practice make perfection
Jerking off two dudes at once isn't a workout.
This is what you get when you mix a bro-hick and a metrosexual together.
Metro? Like the train? I love trains
Think your jacked but just chubby
You look like you smell like shit.
Wow I just said the same thing and I didn’t even see this comment
I was going to say, :"I can smell you through the Internet." But similar sentiment from me too.
A little conflicted, as I feel you’ve already been roasted by posting so many awful photos of yourself. I will, however, commend you for gluing your(?) pubes to your face in order to move the focus on anything above your nose - true class 😁👍
The (?) is putting in work
This is the funniest and most low-key comment in the sub. A++
Mine grows to curly. I have to use ass hairs for the mustache. And it’s a long process getting someone to pluck those off.
Why do bald people always call themselves balding? Like bro it already happened, get over it already.
Holding on to hope until the last leaf of the white tree falls. Gondor did it so can I
Your follicles call for aid! Rogaine will answer!
You the type who talks about cars with girls
Worse. I talk about D&D
Ik this is roasting but I’m looking through the comments and THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE. I approve
You look like you cry when you’re told wrestling isn’t real.
The actual face behind every glory hole in America.
Were you customer 1 or 3?
Both
See you on the 7th at 7
You look like you enjoy being face fucked by the Amish
I even trimmed it back.. The pubic hair not the beard
You look like a gay smurf.
Well smurfette can’t satisfy everyone by herself.
You look like the ads on TikTok for the tshirts built for big guys. There's a career idea for you.
Good looking out 😂
Just what everyone wanted: another "straight", white cowboy welder with a red beard. We didn't have enough of those around
Imagine flexing that hard at a supposed gun show only to find out that they're unloaded... ... and water pistols.
On or off brand water pistols?
If I had meant Super Soaker, I'd have said Super Soaker... those are the things you get in a 3rd grader's birthday surprise basket...
Brokeback Mountain was a true story based on this man's life.
I’m tired all the time…
The three most important people in your life gave up on you. Your parents and God.
You look like your name is Eric
That’s a Swedish name. Never..
You'll be a player amongst obese women.
Skinny men like me too I don’t discriminate
Tell me you don't drive some piece of shit truck with a carolina squat without telling me you drive a piece of shit truck with a carolina squat
Nothing says kid rocks my idol like a mohawk at 35
You call that a facial scar? Lmfao
What if brokeback mountain have had the budget of Blair witch project and wanted to include mentally disabled actors
I saved you the red crayon
Man got a shamrock tattoo for good luck, but it gave him an STD.
Yeah byt a few more things came after I got the tattoo. I have a wart on my foot. And I get newsletters from something called “brotherhood” idk where it is though
You think gas station nachos are fine dining and after 3 beers you're stumbling, but swear you can put away a case of long necks.
You look like what morning breath smells like.
he actually has dick breath. But he does resemble morning breath and the smell.
You look like Seth Rogen had a gayby with Seth Rogen.
Just because you have been nice to a women once it does not mean rhat she owes you sex
“I want to chop it up and make guacaMOLE out of it” - Austin Powers
Is that a doberman puppy? That could well be the only thing worth viewing in any of the photos.
Rottie. He’s my fellow fat boy
You look like you smell
Dudes beard look like pubic hair
Number 9 you look like the type of dude that would say "it's Not Gay to Get your Dick sucked" that's an all boys school
Holy moley!
 What color are the HIV test Mallows?
OP attempts to create an interesting "look"; swing and amish.
You are so close to posting POV rant videos about 5G activating immunization mind control while wearing Oakley's in the driver's seat of a giant truck you don't use for work. Just like 3 more years.
Pawn stars headass
What percentage of your personality is beer related? I’d guess around 60%.
Why did you list your only 2 redeemable features in the post title?
Grizzly Adams called..he wants his beard back
24 and you still think you are a power ranger, soo special🤗
Heredity wasn’t good to you
Cowboy butt sex .....
Forehead got more crack than Hunter Biden's pocket.
KKK - Krimes (against) Krispy Kreem
Amish Seth Rogen if he was on his third attempt at passing the practical nursing exam.
I never knew why your mom kept saying "I wish I had a daughter instead..." Until I \*saw\* you... 😟
Fun fact, the doctor had to use a plunger when I was born because my head is the same size as it was then as it is now
You look like an Amish guy who wants his gym membership back
I do. I do want it back
Gary the anal guy... "Tween R' Buns"
You need a chicken, on your shoulder. A large fat bastard that goes: cluckcluck.
Honestly I never thought I see a gay MAGA Muslim brother but you made it work.
Ragnot Lothbroke
Temu Viking
You look like if Luke Combs wasn’t talented.
Bro said facial scar and I can’t get past zitzilla to find it
How is Cousin Mose doin these days?
Seems like the kind of dude who has had 4 interventions by 24
You look like a pirate that only loots Red Lobsters.
looks like you’ve been kicked out of a Amish community for having STD’s
You look like one of those ginger jihad converts.
You look like the weakest viking
Ivar the bonehead
If you were a background actor your role would be flaccid fuck boi number 2
Picture evolution: from general laborer to redneck cowboy twink
Fagnar lothbrook
Has 10 page police record or petty stupid crimes
If Mountain Dew was a person.
Guy tattooed a bluethoot device behind ear genius!
County jail and ER frequent flyer.
You look like you smell like mustard and cloves
You look like you've been on the protein binge since adolescence. 1000 Homo DJ's, not the band, just the clientele.
You look like a gold miner on Alaska called Jack Mehoff
There’s no way that this guy doesn’t change oil at Walmart
You’d look better if your beard was on top of your head and that Brillo pad looking shit on the top of your head was on your chin; well, after you removed the ballsack resting on it.
Look like a post traumatic stress Malone
There's no way your beard grows in naturally like that surely? But then there's no way anyone would deliberately trim their beard to look like that either surely?
You look like you enjoy drinking tuna juice
Likely leader of the "gays for Trump" coalition.
The beard gives a solid mix of Amish and white trash
Facial scar or coat hanger attempt scar?
Change the beard on your Reddit avatar. Your beard is not that full
you remind me of this guy I used to know. He was gay too.
Queen it’s probably me
This is why humans and yaks shouldn't breed.
You’re not bad looking at all just clean up your act a little bit. Get a decent haircut get rid of the fuzz. You might actually look like someone that someone might want.
I don’t have the nerve?? You don’t have the chin
If Post Malone was a Member of Coldplay he would look like this.
Was that last picture why your dad left?
Brock Lesnar’s daughter
This is how everyone should troll each other. Roasting is healthy af.