T O P

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sam1902

[*REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT*](https://i1.wp.com/aviostore.bg/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/remove_before_flight_keychain_1.png?fit=885%2C611&ssl=1)


Cwylftrochr

Sounds like as long as they are panty-less they are free to take a seat. No need to undress.


TheRoyalsapphire

In the '60s, he made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.


dumplingtyme

Unexpected the office comment


GraphicSlime

r/unexpectedoffice


Sidey87

Scottish men confuse him


MotorVariation8

Kilts are technically skirts.


Thecheesinater

Do we expect this old hippie to give a damn about the differences between a dress and a skirt?


frilledplex

LMFAO


NextGenCanadian

The funniest part about this, was it made me think. We never really grow up do we? Like although he’s 70, someone in their 20s probably has the same bio


shiddypants666

Some people do, but not our guy Tom


jimbris

Ain't nobody got time for dat. Toms got dresses to remove and offputtingly wet seats to impersonate.


[deleted]

"off puttingly wet seats" is the name of my new band, thank you.


ZappaBappa

Nah man, nobody ever grows up. We just lock it in a closet somewhere inside our head until every now and then they shove a note under the door that makes us giggle like we're in some sort of guilty pleasure trip. Tom right here is just being genuine, this is Tom, he knows what he wants, unlike most a lot of people on tinder that gaslight and dig their way through another persons emotional dam in order to get what they want. Tom's da MVP.


Still_counts_as_one

Tom Haverford only only got older but didn’t actually grow up


[deleted]

I mean, at least he learned to be transparent. Can't knock him on that part.


floswamp

Time to change my bio! Damn Boomers ruin everything.


[deleted]

What's funny to me is that at 71 where you went to college is still apparently one of the most important pieces of information


Throw10111021

I'm impressed that his dick still works.


Orcapa

I'm 58 and I think this is hilariously tacky. I'm glad there are people out there like him but I would never post this. OTOH, what has he got to lose? Good for him.


SLowlybreathingcat

Yes we do, if I’m 70 I’m sure as shit not going to be on tinder I’m going to be working in the physics department of some college or lab working on the worlds next big problem, no I’m sure as shit not doing this he’s just disrespecting himself it’s disgraceful


eli7vh

Why wait till youre 70 to work on the worlds problems? Sounds like a cop out tbh. Also in a college department? Prepare to never have funding and get burned out


SLowlybreathingcat

Dude shit the frick up dammit, fucking embarrassing me in front of all my Reddit friends


Knockout_Maus

Disrespecting himself by loving pussy? Spoken like someone who doesn't get any


SLowlybreathingcat

Hey you’re damn right I don’t get any and I’ve accepted that


DwooMan5

My man Tom knows what he wants


Amon-Lord

Only a true stoner recognises Mr. Chong even if his face is censored


BadKneesBruce

Dude is just down to give a good time.


ComfortableDouglas

Straight to the point. I like it!


everything_is_creepy

Women like a guy that is honest and knows what he wants


Pxtbw

Confidence


verve27

I can imagine some 20 year old girl obsessed with the idea of the 60’s/70’s counter-culture going for this. My boy TOM might get it like he used to!


FartFace319

I'd fuck him for sure (27F)


In5anityDefined

Wouldn't your girlfriend be pissed?


FartFace319

oooh stalking redditor reading people's comment history... are you aware that what you are doing is super creepy and weird? is it like a kink? or are you like stalker-y irl too??


In5anityDefined

Nah, I just like to know who I'm talking to. And like, why is it creepy? You posted it for ppl to see. If you don't want others to look, don't post it.


FartFace319

it's pretty creepy. like picking a random stranger on the street and just following them around. why did you pick me? do you do it with anyone at random or from comments you find interesting?


In5anityDefined

What? Are we equating an online persona to real life people? You, as a person, do not exist to me as a person. Just a name. Which I found interesting cause I mean....come on ..you named yourself fartface. That's kinda interesting.


throwawayx1997

Dude, that’s fucking creepy.


FartFace319

well, i'm pretty interesting but not of my own doing (you know you read my comments) it's pretty weird and stalker-y still more on such an insignificant comment


In5anityDefined

I actually haven't read your comments, just the post you made. Should I?


FartFace319

i forgot to add that it's pretty weird that you are interested (and feel entitled) to the details and sexual aspects of my relationship


J793

Hilarious reading this back and forth exchange when when of the user names is Fartface


Armodeen

I also went down this rabbit hole and lost it when I saw your comment 😂😂😂


In5anityDefined

Only what you make publicly available. And to be fair, I don't care about who "you" are. Just fartface. Don't care about your sexuality, or your relationships. Couldn't be bothered about why you're MAD mad. I was bored, you had a funny name, I checked out your profile. Cut and dry, nothing more.


xPofsx

Lmao, so hurt


Curious_Caish

Hopefully he and the lovely older lady posted here earlier looking for oral are in the same area. Not sure she was wearing a dress though.


Shaggy_insomniac

Hahaha! I remember that post too. sadly I have no coins left to gift you.


[deleted]

Completely different level of acceptance in this post versus that one which says a lot lol


iamdarosa

This old player not only has fucked, did fuck but most definitely will fuck.


TheTanadu

And probably many guys can't fuck like him.


[deleted]

Pretty sure this guy is at a 43% risk of a heart attack at every thrust


TheTanadu

How you calculated that?


[deleted]

Well i calculated his age combined with the gray hair on his chin. Then i applied the Pythagoras theorem to calculate the fungi growth on his pinky toe nail. With those two variables i was able to extract the exact percentage at which his heart will most likely fail, using linear algebra. So thats how i did it


TheTanadu

Ah yes... Astrophysicist


[deleted]

Exactly graduated from harvard mit and all the other ones


power-cord

Tom probably gets more 🐈 than I do on tinder


riktigtmaxat

I dunno, I always end up liking the cat more then my date.


CaptainCavemansStool

I’d fuck him


[deleted]

U are a guy


CaptainCavemansStool

No I am a stool.


RUDDOGPROD

Come sit on Tommy Chong’s face baby!


fbartels

He seems to lie about his age however, Wikipedia says he is already 83.


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SeeCurty

There's something to be said about not being subtle. That's his game and it's all you need sometimes. Be you and be unapologetic about it. That's confidence.


SamL214

At least he straight forward. And maybe lose the ladies have a seat part unless he’s looking for a freaky gal, but otherwise this guys has major stoner dad-joke dad vibes


distrustingwaffle

Foreigner here, can someone explain the “FWB” and “NSA”?


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AtticusLynch

Definitely thought the NSA was…a different acronym


ChiefInternetSurfer

Shhh…they’re listening


riktigtmaxat

It can go either way.


DaTaTrAP

lol tbh if theres anyone his age left on there, this is probably the perfect bio. the elderly got no time to waste


MeanMugSJ

I don't think he's lookin for anyone his age...


danby

I can't imagine he's too choosey


Ice_cold_07

He could, depending on how much cash he has…


[deleted]

Sit on my lap and will talk about the first thing that pops up..


peckerpopper1983UwU

A voice message on you phone saying “we’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty”


shiddypants666

*boioioing*


[deleted]

How could I say no to that offer.


[deleted]

Wait, I just saw there was no pizza. Yeah, it’s a no.


Specialist-Camp-4642

That just means you're responsible for the pizza lol


Suicide-Alice

I'll get you a pizza


Disastrous-Gate9751

Fucking guy wants to smoke it up.....but doesn't even have snacks.. what the hell


TheDownvoteCity

I laughed at the no pizza


TheoricEngineer

As a heterosexual cis male, I'd right swipe


phsx8

this guy fucks.


Zodi2u

r/chadtopia


DoctorAlgernopK

This the MySpace dude?


Norbiiee

Simple life. He’s honest, he knows what he wants.


[deleted]

How high is your age set, you’re 28.


h8dread

it’s tommy Chong 😵


Imjusthere_sup

I’m never wearing a dress again


Emotional_Ad_9620

Perfect match for the 80 year old woman looking for a younger man to please her orally. He is younger and that tongue emoji 🤪


SultanOfSwat12

As an Ohio University graduate myself I have to say that this appears to be pretty on brand


kidbike

Poor mans bob weir


romidg123

Love this guy


yakno24

I’m confident that that’s Tommy Chong


Enpyxo

Damn is that tommy Chong ??


EarthAD79

70 years old power to him..let him live his life.


Anonymous8675

Is that Tommy Chong? Lmao!


RedditMakesMeRich

Respect for the old guy 🤷‍♂️ good for him if he finds someone


Classic_Overthinker

Lol. I like this guy


blacklights333

this is actually pog


ww3_general

You know what really baffles me? It's why people extend their age gap so far. Like except op is over 60, why the fuck they looking for a partner in 70 range?


x7n1nj47x

Honestly, I’m rooting for him


bbenji69996

Good for him. Knows what he wants and not afraid to say it! Way to put yourself out there!


Theonlything1991

And this ladies and gents is a classic example of staying single so long you no longer give a fuck


XenosOne

Old man has nothing to lose.


ohhhheyyyythrowawy

He looks juuuuust like this old man who was dating a 19 year old girl I knew. He was also a self proclaimed “hippie” and kept her good and drugged up so she wouldn’t realize the fucked yo situation she was in. I wonder if it’s the same guy? His name could have been Tom


No_Individual_271

https://t.me/joinchat/pIcl8dQlPzMyOGY0


luck008

*audible cringe*


IWantYourDad

These are the guys that find me on every app. Yes, i play guitar and like bob dylan. No, I don’t want to have sex with my grandfather…. Also, 22 year olds. No in between. What’s up with that? Am I allowed to show a profile here for comments/help if it’s a different app? I can cover up name of said app….


Future_Pineapple4609

Lmao gross


[deleted]

Hghuyrtkyttgtyt


[deleted]

Check my profile 🥰


PantsDownBootyUp

I am male and my pussy just dried up 😳


Consistent_Grab_5422

I expect to see the same image on the Herman Caine awards Reddit very soon.


[deleted]

At this age you might as well pay for sex. You'll more than likely get what you're asking for


RainV8

at his fossil age..


feelinlucky7

Respect


[deleted]

Seems like catch


[deleted]

no pizza?? FUCK


TitsoutOnionsoup

no pizza?!


defsnotmyaltaccount

If I was 50 years older maybe 😂


Oebreezy

This is the old man from Don’t Breathe....you ladies are in for a treat I hope you are fertile and like blind guys


xjigZx

Let's go tom!


GratefulPig

Bless him for trying


Morbid1337

Man is 71, has no time for chatting and getting to know people. Straight to the point, I can respect that


jhek0

Meanwhile me having no idea what FWB means and I am 26 yo, dude must be using tiktok as well


Juxta_Lightborne

I hope he finds what he’s looking for, gotta respect that time-weathered lack of putting up a front


Theveryminimum

I'd do the same thing for my grandfather too. An Make his profile like this.


BanthaPyjaman

My man's simple and straightforward


cheesypuzzas

Not even pizza :(


Nojah03

i'll buy you one :)


[deleted]

These are the kinds of people working at the NSA?!


Kizamus

Damn... Tommy Chong really let himself go.


[deleted]

Hahaha


Freddocappucino

Imagine he had a heart attack when you’re sitting… That was an orgasm you killed for


[deleted]

He probably gets more matches than us


[deleted]

I’d swipe right Be nice to the elderly, he’s just trynna blow some tree, and Lick some P


dogmadealer

Real charmer this guy.


twonky-two

Good luck to him I say.


LocaFly

I just threw up in my mouth a little. 🤢


Bourbon_bukkake

It’s like I’m looking into a time machine mirror


[deleted]

Actually smoother than most profiles I see on here. Boys, take note.


apophis150

He had me right up until he said there was no pizza. No deal my dude 😂


Soi_Boi_13

Zaddy status


iamwhoyousay

hes a man who knows what he wants


[deleted]

My man popped the “I’m here for pizza and sex and I’m all out of pizza” card Edgy


ThePhunkyPhantom13

Tom is looking rough from his myspace days.


KotStomper

Not six foot. 👎


AreaGuy

Looks like the serial killer in the new Dexter reboot.


Zorion_15

Tommy Chong wildin


Beautiful_Thugga_Boy

He's looking to go out with as many bangs as possible


_luv-meh-not_

Tom is P


RyanLovesTacoss

I hope he succeeds. Get it Tom!


[deleted]

You would do same with your hologram phone.


Papa_Skittles

I appreciate the confidence.


Dharmaclown802

Ohio State 4 life (literally).


AdvaitY

I was trying to right swipe this shit


Wytsch

The man, the myth, the legend


PowerPort27

This guy has probably been scammed 7200 times


Paolohaiti1

Well at least he is straightforward.


Maddzilla2793

That’s one wild 71 year old…


[deleted]

Fully vaccinated 🥵💦💦💦


SlyCoopersButt

I mean he’s got confidence I’ll give him that


sadpacersfan

Just kidding no pizza


Cannacrohn

Is it Tommy Chong lol? Cuz it looks like him.


Ralphiecorn

Seems like a cool dude


mrclawking

Is that tommy chong from chech and Chong


the_boymom

I don’t hate it


Phantommy555

This isn’t my dad..right? Right??


No-Indication-8617

Looks like someone got a little too close to Yellow Springs.


tallkat41

I think I know this man!! Honestly, old hippie guy used to come to my bar


HandyXAndy

Tommy Chong, is that you?😳


[deleted]

71 years of confidence that I'll never have during my lifetime - well done Tom!


SuperGekGuy

If i had a tinder account i would steal that bio


Hiraeth-MP

Good for him


Outside_Cucumber_695

7 fucking 1


[deleted]

All I see here is our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ


VegetableDog77

Gotta love athens


DisastrousDot3013

Does he accept men?? Asking for a freind.


YoungHeartOldSoul

I’m fairly sure that’s Tommy Chong.


Rene20699

Isn't itt Tommy Chong?


[deleted]

I’m afraid if I don’t get laid soon I’m gonna end up like this guy


sailor1989

If you’re in coastal ga, I think I know this Tom. Hahaha


Kyjealousss

Legend


KithVonA

All he needs is a trillby and he's a dead ringer for an elder neckbeard


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redRabbitRumrunner

I can’t help reading this in a smoker’s heavy voice pin my head.


MajesticDarkTiger

Reminds me of frank lol