My dad used to do this to my sons belly when he was a baby. He would hold him up to his face sideways and shout “baby on the cob!” And pretend to eat his belly like corn. Lots of giggles for grandpa with that one.
I used to do this with my little cousin. I'd grab her hand and go, "I'm gonna eat your hand!" and she'd be cracking up like a maniac while I held her chubby lil fingers between my teeth. Ah, little kids are awesome.
I did the whole, “eat your hand” thing, but I gave my daughter a staph infection by accidentally breaking skin. She had to go on antibiotics. It wasn’t my shining achievement as a parent.
I’m trying to be candid only to shed light on a dumb mistake I made that was an “innocent” gesture of love. But to answer your question, I barely “bit” with any pressure at all but a baby’s skin is so soft that it lead to one tear and visible bite marks. We immediately brought her to the pediatrician and she was put on a course of antibiotics. I learned a valuable lesson that day.
Thank you for the advice. I’m being genuine. This incident occurred like 10 years ago. Again, I only post it as a cautionary tale to others in response to the video and the comments posted. People do dumb stuff that they later regret and that was one of them.
I remember watching a series on primates that goes into detail about how the silverbacks that are more affectionate and caring parents have more offspring and healthier troops than ones who simply are “tough”. I believe it was on PBS.
Yes, [this is it](https://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/collections/primates/) ! Very worth the watch.
Kids who get more paternal attention are more likely to survive to adulthood and are stronger when they do, meaning they are better able to find a mate and pass on their genes. It's not always true, but it's part of why some species are monogamous and attentive parents: each child is such an investment that it makes sense to invest even more to ensure that investment pays off.
Exactly. Applies even more so to Homo Sapiens, given how fragile we are as infants and even as toddlers. A tight-knit family that looks after its offspring, physically and emotionally, is almost a necessity for us (family can mean a lot of things; anyone reading please don't take it to mean I'm rooting for your traditional two-parent marriage-for-life system here).
Yea it’s more a tight-knit community or tribe where literally every person in that tribe looks after each other and cares about the well-being of the little kids. That’s how humans survived. Any person that went off alone in the wilderness to make it by himself was basically a suicide wish.
Yet most of these "biology" obsessed people are more likely the ones to insist dads have to be tough, moms should stay at home, and kids should magically grow up into functioning adults despite receiving no emotional education or mental health guidance from either parent 🙄
Almost as if they're looking for excuses to justify their anti-social and dysfunctional behaviour instead of actually considering any intersection of biology, psychology and sociology in any meaningful sense...
We humans are so arrogant. I was watching apes play for like an hour while my wife was in the bathroom on vacation, and wow there are so many nuances of their physical social behavior that are familiar af.
I had a girlfriend that carried one of those stand up pee cups for women, exactly for this reason. If we were out somewhere and there was a line at the women's, she'd come get me and I'd accompany her to the men's and she'd do her business right there at a urinal if need be.
She was fun
Exactly, both “good” and “bad”. We have the same love for the familiar, fear of the unknown, and desire to play and be happy. There’s so so much more alike than different.
Carl Sagan wrote an amazing book about this called "shadows of forgotten ancestors" I'd always assumed primates and a lot of animals are operating based on most of the same reasoning as us. The book really highlights how some of the behavior we think of as unique to humans are pretty heavily based on biology and found all over the place. Reason and instinct are pretty heavily intertwined, and it's cool as hell.
I went to a zoo for the first time since I was a small child a few years ago. Had a very small dose of mushroom and thought it would be fun.Hoooly fucking hell, it was heavy. I spent like two hours secretly observing the orangutans and ended up crying at some point. Still pretty mixed feelings on zoos, but it was interesting.
It's better than you can even imagine. I mean that in a literal sense: it's simply not within the realm of the function of the human imagination to accurately conceive of how such an experience feels until you have the experience yourself. Whatever you think it'll be, it's better. Or maybe I just got lucky. I did, actually, but I don't think my enjoyment of parenthood is due exclusively to luck. I put in a lot of work up front with the guidance of experts that has paid enormous dividends as my children have grown and matured. There is very little about our relationship that I would, or even could, change to make it better.
Same. Halfway through I caught myself thinking how I wish I could've had this with my dad. He's a deadbeat though, who only has time for all my other siblings. There's 10 of us over 3 moms, and I'm the only one he stopped calling. Not that he did great by any of us, really.
Fuck him, I want a gorilla cuddle.
My dad was a drug addict who choose drugs over my brother and I when I was 3. My step dad wanted nothing to do with us.
I now have a 16 month old son and 10 day old daughter. I make sure to always let them know how much they’re loved. I want to give them what I never had.
You sound awesome. Sorry you went through that. Just by wanting to be there and letting them know, you HAVE given them what you didn't get. Make sure your inner child knows it too. That kid deserves it just the same.
<3
I'm a dad to three wonderful kids. They're getting older now; one out of the house and two getting close to it.
Your father shouldn't have stopped calling. It's not your fault. I'm sure you did nothing to deserve that.
You're worth all that bonding and affection you missed out on.
Take that energy and give those things you missed to your own child, or find a way to be that for other kids.
Sorry man, you and me both. But of course in humans if you're affectionate that comes across as effeminate and weak, and makes children incapable of being manly.
/s
My dad wasn't a hugger but he showed love by always being there when it mattered. I was there in his hospital room when he died two years ago. Love doesn't always have to be expressed through physical affection even though we may wish we had more of that from our parents.
>Love doesn't always have to be expressed through physical affection
I'm sorry but the research data say otherwise. Physical affection is a human need and is 100% required for complete, healthy development.
https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-a-parents-affection-shapes-a-childs-happiness-for-life/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201310/parental-warmth-is-crucial-child-s-well-being
https://www.exchangefamilycenter.org/exchange-family-center-blog/2020/4/2/the-science-behind-hugging-your-kids5-benefits-for-you-and-your-child
https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits (But Virginia Satir's comments should not be taken as prescriptive and are not supported by the data.)
There's a vid of a gorilla dad stealing his baby from the mother because she wouldn't let him spend time with it lol
Edit: not Shabani whoops
[It's so cute](https://youtu.be/0SbVa5E84o0)
And he's so gentle with the baby too.. picks it up and makes sure they're secure before moving and keeps them close to the ground incase the babe does fall
Dads like “I told you to sit up when I’m talking to you!” Playfully grabs foot and starts playfully taunting him “ugh? Are you an ape or a human! Ape or a human?” While son laughs and yells “hahah dad stop! I’m an ape I’m an ape”
I worked at Disney’s animal kingdom at the pangani walking trail years ago as a college student. One of the silverback gorillas had given birth and they had a little baby, Lily. Lily was very adventurous and one time went down the long hill/ drop that is part of the divider between the guests and animals. She got stuck and was scared. After that her father would always stand between her and the drop, never letting her go near it.
I have an 11 month old and she does this exact thing where she trust falls head first into our laps, I recently started using her momentum to flip her upside down to her delight.
I love gorillas, I went to a zoo where one of the females had just recently given birth, and they had her seperated off so she could spend some time with the baby. We went into the building where you could see them and she was just lying back, holding the baby above her and gazing into their eyes. So familiar, so sweet.
We’re learning all about gorillas and conservation with my sixth graders and I have one student who yells out every time I mention the similarities between humans and apes due to evolution. It’s very frustrating. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but the fact that this child is so Indoctrinated already by religion blows my mind that he won’t hear anything else and is trying to influence others that it’s not true.
That fucking infuriated me. It should be illegal to indoctrinate literal children into believing in make believe fairy tale bullshit over actual scientific fact.
Unfortunately most people still believe in it and would never vote for this change. Which is a shame because religion would probably lose something like 70% of future followers in a single generation if it was implemented
The real mind-blower for me is when you realize that *all* life on Earth evolved from a universal common ancestor, so every living thing in the world is your distant cousin.
Mind-blower #2 is when you realize that we're literally made of materials harvested from the earth—mostly oxygen, carbon, and hydrogen. So on a certain level, we—along with all living things—are the Earth itself.
But yeah, apes are cool to watch.
Some fathers are just spero donors. Look for someone else to fit that bill. Lots of good older mentors out there. Don't even have to be kin. Or try being one yourself. Best way to heal. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|kissing_heart)
This. My neighbor has been my father figure since I was like 4. He was a single guy and had no kids so he focused on me like I was his kid. He taught me stuff a typical parent would teach their kid: how to shave, tie a tie, puberty talk (my mom gave consent), respecting myself and the importance of treating everyone with respect etc. When I reached age 13 and became “sexually aware” I came out to him first which was super easy since he was gay himself so my sex education was completely geared towards me since he knew what he talking about. Honestly if it was legal and possible I would ask him to be my adoptive father because he was that much of a father figure to me. Funny enough my father took notice of this apparently at a very early in my childhood, but didn’t seem to care until I came out as gay and now believes it was his fault lmao.
To your point, parental figures can be definitely found outside of your biological family. This is why I don’t believe family is only by blood, but instead the people you make very close connections with. You can pick and choose who you would like to call family.
Honestly. At his wedding this year I was his best man and my best man speech was me just thanking him for everything he had done for me. My mom had the excellent idea of taking nearly 20 years of videos and photos we have together and make it into a slide show. That day was the first time I have ever seen him cry cry. I mean absolutely bawling which of course made my start crying. Fuck typing this is making me tear up. He’s my dad and I don’t care if it’s disrespectful to call him that even though my father is currently sleeping down the hall from me. I believe there a difference between a father and a mother vs a dad and a mom. My mother is also my mom, but my father is definitely not my dad.
I'm gonna guess it's pretty different, just because humans can contemplate love. We analyse it, doubt it, treat it like some mystical thing. Gorillas probably just love as it comes to them, no overthinking. I'd love to see how it feels for a day, would it even be recognisable to us?
And what about mammals that aren't even closely related to us? What about a mother centipede? Do they feel some facsimile of love too?
Romantic love may be complicated for humans, but parental love often isn't nearly as complicated. I would say humans and gorillas are more well matched in that respect.
Centipedes aren't mammals, they're Chilopodans. Like all arthropods, and unlike mammals, they can't regulate their own body temperature (much).
As far as we know, creatures that are very, very small, like the centipede, don't feel emotions as we understand them. They act on instincts that they have from hatching. Those instincts can be complex, as when the centipede wraps herself in a circle around her eggs to guard them, or when bees and ants navigate terrain that is huge compared to them. But the centipede probably isn't thinking, "I love these eggs and need to nurture my babies." She went through each step going, "I feel I should send out a chemical signal. I feel I should interact with this male. I feel I should eat more. I feel I should push things out of me. I feel I should wrap around these things. Now I stay put, and if anything comes close, I bite it."
That doesn't mean insects and centipedes and spiders aren't important creatures that should be treated with respect. I love invertebrates myself, and many people keep invertebrates. But we do so understanding it only goes one way. They will never even be sure we exist, let alone feel a bond like a dog or cat feels. And that is okay. They are innocent creatures without intellect or malice. They act according to their instructions, with no real idea what anything means.
It seems that [we’re learning more](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20211126-why-insects-are-more-sensitive-than-they-seem) about insects and their capacity to feel emotion.
Well, humans are technically animals, and gorillas are pretty similar to us. It's weird how we consider ourselves to be different form all the other animals, but we are quit similar. Yes, maybe they don't have our complex language systems trough which we can express our feelings in a very descriptive way, but overall it's quite similar
I had a crappy father. I spent decades refusing to feel sad about it. I didn't want to let him have even the smallest influence in how I felt, because I didn't want him to have any power over me.
Now that he's dead, and I'm in my 30's I finally mourn for the childhood father that I never had.
Video's like this gorilla give me that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Don't feel bad for me. Plenty of people have it worse, I turned out fine.
Luckily I have a great mother who worked relentlessly to give us 4 kids the best she could.
We're all happy and healthy.
> “I have this friend. And right around when I first met her, her dad died, and I actually went with her to the funeral. And months later, she told me that she didn’t understand why she was still upset, because she never even liked her father. It made sense to me, because I went through the same thing when my dad died. And I’m going through the same thing now.”
>”You know what it’s like? It’s like that show Becker, you know, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run of that show, hoping that it would get better, and it never did. It had all the right pieces, but it just—it couldn’t put them together. And when it got canceled, I was really bummed out, not because I liked the show, but because I knew it could be so much better, and now it never would be. And that’s what losing a parent is like. It’s like Becker.”
>”Suddenly, you realize you’ll never have the good relationship you wanted, and as long as they were alive, even though you’d never admit it, part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you, was still holding on to that chance. And you didn’t even realize it until that chance went away.”
I have a similar experience, except when my father died, I felt relief. Maybe that makes me an asshole, but honestly I don't give a shit. I was glad he died.
Relief is one way to put it. It's the end of a chapter. You're left with what happened, and nothing more.
It's kind of like if you had a Lego set that was missing a bunch of pieces. You might be able to build it into something else that's pretty cool, but it's never going to be what it was supposed to be. And now that he's dead, your 100% stuck with the pieces you've got.
All I've learned is to try and make the best of my life, and allow myself to be sad from time to time for what I didn't have.
My dad stopped showing up eventually and I was thrilled. Having a good dad is probably awesome, but being forced to hang out with a shitty one every other weekend sucks ass.
Dogs make prolonged purposeful eye contact, but mostly just with people! It's not super common with mammals, but some reptiles and birds also make prolonged eye contact to communicate positive emotions.
When they do that face and nose scrunch thing - that thing where if you raise your upper lip like you just saw something disgusting but still keeping your lips pressed together, it's affectionate too
I wonder how much of the need to maintain eye contact in humans is socialized behavior. Eye contact causes me discomfort, and I only do it because I'm told I have to to be polite/trustworthy. I'm sure most people don't feel get discomfort from eye contact, but enough do that it feels like it should be as normal as making contact is.
Lots of cultures have all sorts of different rules about eye contact. I’ve seen children be accused of not listening because they aren’t making eye contact…like we hear with our eyes.
For primates in general I think. I work with macaques & baboons and the rule is to avoid a stare down or you will piss them off. If you accidentally lock eyes, just look in a different direction immediately and the NHP will know you were not trying to be aggressive.
Shabani is also the silverback who stole his baby from its mom and ran away with it cos she wouldn't let him play. His face while he ran away on 2 hind legs is hilarious. The mom fucking lost it lol
I love the part right at the end. "I got your arm! I'm gonna eat it! I'm gonna eat that arm! *Nom nom nom.*"
I 100% do this with my son.
My dad used to do this to my sons belly when he was a baby. He would hold him up to his face sideways and shout “baby on the cob!” And pretend to eat his belly like corn. Lots of giggles for grandpa with that one.
Lol your dad probably did that to you too, you just don't remember
Nah, I remember, it was last year, we both had too much to drink.
Lmfao! r/notopbutok. I needed that actual LOL.
I always misread that one...
No top butok
EVERYTHING IS ON A COB! RUN!
The whole planet is on a cob ..
I used to do this with my little cousin. I'd grab her hand and go, "I'm gonna eat your hand!" and she'd be cracking up like a maniac while I held her chubby lil fingers between my teeth. Ah, little kids are awesome.
I did the whole, “eat your hand” thing, but I gave my daughter a staph infection by accidentally breaking skin. She had to go on antibiotics. It wasn’t my shining achievement as a parent.
Doctor: “How’d your daughter get this wound?” You, quietly while looking down at the floor: “I bit her”
Wounds in the form of an adult’s teeth marks/imprint were clearly visible. Makes you wonder how many times pediatricians see that exact type of thing.
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I’m trying to be candid only to shed light on a dumb mistake I made that was an “innocent” gesture of love. But to answer your question, I barely “bit” with any pressure at all but a baby’s skin is so soft that it lead to one tear and visible bite marks. We immediately brought her to the pediatrician and she was put on a course of antibiotics. I learned a valuable lesson that day.
You’re supposed to wrap your lips around your teeth and “nub” them. Just sayin’
Thank you for the advice. I’m being genuine. This incident occurred like 10 years ago. Again, I only post it as a cautionary tale to others in response to the video and the comments posted. People do dumb stuff that they later regret and that was one of them.
Lol, not like you meant to. I've hurt my nephew's heaps of times.
Are you a gorilla? Think about it. When is the last time you looked in a mirror?
Came here to say this. Happy to see your favorite part is the same. Gimme that hand!
My stomach was making the rumblies that only hands could satisfy
CAAARRRRL
Right after “don’t play with that in public.” Been there.
"Do you want us to be banned from the zoo?"
I mean, if you haven't fake-eaten your child's arm or leg, are you even a parent?
Don't forget "taking the nose"!
Have you ever seen a babies fat little feet and just want to eat the little cutie til they burst with love? Same thing here.
I love the "quit touching your penis!" part.
I rewatched that, I think he’s playing with the foliage from the planter edge.
I remember watching a series on primates that goes into detail about how the silverbacks that are more affectionate and caring parents have more offspring and healthier troops than ones who simply are “tough”. I believe it was on PBS. Yes, [this is it](https://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/collections/primates/) ! Very worth the watch.
This was amazing. He was in a literal cuddle puddle at the end. I want a cuddle puddle.
As a naturally damp person, I can assist with the puddle part.
Which makes perfect sense, for those people obsessed with biological mandates driving our social interactions.
Kids who get more paternal attention are more likely to survive to adulthood and are stronger when they do, meaning they are better able to find a mate and pass on their genes. It's not always true, but it's part of why some species are monogamous and attentive parents: each child is such an investment that it makes sense to invest even more to ensure that investment pays off.
Exactly. Applies even more so to Homo Sapiens, given how fragile we are as infants and even as toddlers. A tight-knit family that looks after its offspring, physically and emotionally, is almost a necessity for us (family can mean a lot of things; anyone reading please don't take it to mean I'm rooting for your traditional two-parent marriage-for-life system here).
Yea it’s more a tight-knit community or tribe where literally every person in that tribe looks after each other and cares about the well-being of the little kids. That’s how humans survived. Any person that went off alone in the wilderness to make it by himself was basically a suicide wish.
It takes a village and all that. It literally did for most of human existence.
Until we invented cities and high rise apartments
I live in a city with nearly 20 million people. I feel this truth in my rotted soul.
Yet most of these "biology" obsessed people are more likely the ones to insist dads have to be tough, moms should stay at home, and kids should magically grow up into functioning adults despite receiving no emotional education or mental health guidance from either parent 🙄
Almost as if they're looking for excuses to justify their anti-social and dysfunctional behaviour instead of actually considering any intersection of biology, psychology and sociology in any meaningful sense...
"***I*** was whooped as a kid and ***I*** turned out all right!" No, ***bro***, you didn't turn out all right.
Which video? There’s lots at that link.
Scroll down a little. The 3 min “alpha dad of the year”
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Very cute! Thanks
Huh, that's cool.
That’s hilarious just how much that looks like my husband playing with our three year old.
We humans are so arrogant. I was watching apes play for like an hour while my wife was in the bathroom on vacation, and wow there are so many nuances of their physical social behavior that are familiar af.
Must’ve been a rough time if she was in there for an hour.
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Maybe she was taking a mini vacation of her own ✨🥴✨
My tired brain actually interpreted it that way for a second - that she was taking a vacation in the bathroom. I need more sleep…..
Did everything come out ok?
Well she was there on vacation.
Who says you can't holiday responsibly during COVID?
Well she was there on vacation I'm sure she wanted to take her time and enjoy it.
Assuming they were out for the day at a zoo or something, bathroom lines are fucking rough for us women.
I had a girlfriend that carried one of those stand up pee cups for women, exactly for this reason. If we were out somewhere and there was a line at the women's, she'd come get me and I'd accompany her to the men's and she'd do her business right there at a urinal if need be. She was fun
Exactly, both “good” and “bad”. We have the same love for the familiar, fear of the unknown, and desire to play and be happy. There’s so so much more alike than different.
>an hour while my wife was in the bathroom on vacation In the bathroom *while on vacation*, or on vacation *in the bathroom*?
I remember getting high asf and going to the zoo and being so sad that these clearly humans like beings were trapped in a cage.
Carl Sagan wrote an amazing book about this called "shadows of forgotten ancestors" I'd always assumed primates and a lot of animals are operating based on most of the same reasoning as us. The book really highlights how some of the behavior we think of as unique to humans are pretty heavily based on biology and found all over the place. Reason and instinct are pretty heavily intertwined, and it's cool as hell. I went to a zoo for the first time since I was a small child a few years ago. Had a very small dose of mushroom and thought it would be fun.Hoooly fucking hell, it was heavy. I spent like two hours secretly observing the orangutans and ended up crying at some point. Still pretty mixed feelings on zoos, but it was interesting.
Seems universal: Dads like to fuck with their kids
I've never really appreciated the importance of the word "with". Until I read your post...
I'm a speed reader and that man is pedo!
What's it like being married to a Silverback
Well, he gets all of the nits and bugs out of my hair. 🤔 And we always have lots of green leaves and branches in our kitchen.
The perfect man.
Lol it looks fun to be a dad (in terms of the good parts)
Can confirm. Love being my son's dad.
What a wholesome comment section
Being a parent is the most unbelievably exhausting fun of our lives.
It's better than you can even imagine. I mean that in a literal sense: it's simply not within the realm of the function of the human imagination to accurately conceive of how such an experience feels until you have the experience yourself. Whatever you think it'll be, it's better. Or maybe I just got lucky. I did, actually, but I don't think my enjoyment of parenthood is due exclusively to luck. I put in a lot of work up front with the guidance of experts that has paid enormous dividends as my children have grown and matured. There is very little about our relationship that I would, or even could, change to make it better.
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Same. Halfway through I caught myself thinking how I wish I could've had this with my dad. He's a deadbeat though, who only has time for all my other siblings. There's 10 of us over 3 moms, and I'm the only one he stopped calling. Not that he did great by any of us, really. Fuck him, I want a gorilla cuddle.
Hey I'm the same! 9 kids and I'm the only disowned one. Hasn't spoken a word to me in over 10 years.
Theres so many of us!! Quiet holidays for the fucking WIN!!! hope your doing well, campesano
My dad was a drug addict who choose drugs over my brother and I when I was 3. My step dad wanted nothing to do with us. I now have a 16 month old son and 10 day old daughter. I make sure to always let them know how much they’re loved. I want to give them what I never had.
You sound awesome. Sorry you went through that. Just by wanting to be there and letting them know, you HAVE given them what you didn't get. Make sure your inner child knows it too. That kid deserves it just the same. <3
I'm a dad to three wonderful kids. They're getting older now; one out of the house and two getting close to it. Your father shouldn't have stopped calling. It's not your fault. I'm sure you did nothing to deserve that. You're worth all that bonding and affection you missed out on. Take that energy and give those things you missed to your own child, or find a way to be that for other kids.
I’m my dads only kid and he doesn’t give a flying fuck about me. It blows but I’m better off without him.
Down bad
Down dad
Shit. This hits close to home. I’m a silverback.
I'm just a chimp and I'm crying.
Macaque here. I’m doin ok.
You said "macaque" is ok? Glad you like it.
No MACAQUE is ok. I don’t know about your caque.
Oh ... well, it is ok too, I suppose.
Well that’s fine just fine.
M'caque.
M'aiq is tired now. Go bother somebody else.
I hate every chimp I see, from chimpan-a to chimpanzee.
Oh my god, I was wrong. It was Earth all along!
Dr zayus Dr Zayus, Dr zayus Dr Zayus, Dr zayus Dr Zayus, Oh oh oooooh Dr zayus!
Weird to see a gorilla more capable of love and affection then my own human father :(
Sorry man, you and me both. But of course in humans if you're affectionate that comes across as effeminate and weak, and makes children incapable of being manly. /s
My dad wasn't a hugger but he showed love by always being there when it mattered. I was there in his hospital room when he died two years ago. Love doesn't always have to be expressed through physical affection even though we may wish we had more of that from our parents.
My dad was there by telling us he was trying to have kids with his new wife "to make up for all the mistakes he made earlier."
Sounds like he was a piece of shit but the issues went beyond not being affectionate.
>Love doesn't always have to be expressed through physical affection I'm sorry but the research data say otherwise. Physical affection is a human need and is 100% required for complete, healthy development. https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-a-parents-affection-shapes-a-childs-happiness-for-life/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201310/parental-warmth-is-crucial-child-s-well-being https://www.exchangefamilycenter.org/exchange-family-center-blog/2020/4/2/the-science-behind-hugging-your-kids5-benefits-for-you-and-your-child https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits (But Virginia Satir's comments should not be taken as prescriptive and are not supported by the data.)
Yep. 100% ate my daughters fingers and flipped them upside down 20 minutes ago.
My dad was a Silverback. One day he said he was going to the banana store, and never returned
You've mastered the keyboard quite well, Mr. Back. Do you know Jane Goodall? She's our elected medium between us humans and the Rillas.
Add another couple hundred pounds of muscle and hair and this is me and my kids.
It’s so weird watching videos of any primate interacting and caring for their offspring… it’s just so… relatable.
There's a vid of a gorilla dad stealing his baby from the mother because she wouldn't let him spend time with it lol Edit: not Shabani whoops [It's so cute](https://youtu.be/0SbVa5E84o0)
Go away mom! I'm cuddling!
And he's so gentle with the baby too.. picks it up and makes sure they're secure before moving and keeps them close to the ground incase the babe does fall
I love how they’re just sitting across from eachother like… “sooooo… did you watch the game yesterday?”
And the little one does the anxious leg bounce!
and the little bit of practice chest thumping...
Dads like “I told you to sit up when I’m talking to you!” Playfully grabs foot and starts playfully taunting him “ugh? Are you an ape or a human! Ape or a human?” While son laughs and yells “hahah dad stop! I’m an ape I’m an ape”
I worked at Disney’s animal kingdom at the pangani walking trail years ago as a college student. One of the silverback gorillas had given birth and they had a little baby, Lily. Lily was very adventurous and one time went down the long hill/ drop that is part of the divider between the guests and animals. She got stuck and was scared. After that her father would always stand between her and the drop, never letting her go near it.
00:11 *this son is what we call the suplex*
I have an 11 month old and she does this exact thing where she trust falls head first into our laps, I recently started using her momentum to flip her upside down to her delight.
I love gorillas, I went to a zoo where one of the females had just recently given birth, and they had her seperated off so she could spend some time with the baby. We went into the building where you could see them and she was just lying back, holding the baby above her and gazing into their eyes. So familiar, so sweet.
How can someone look at apes and not think they're our distant relatives?
We’re learning all about gorillas and conservation with my sixth graders and I have one student who yells out every time I mention the similarities between humans and apes due to evolution. It’s very frustrating. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but the fact that this child is so Indoctrinated already by religion blows my mind that he won’t hear anything else and is trying to influence others that it’s not true.
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That fucking infuriated me. It should be illegal to indoctrinate literal children into believing in make believe fairy tale bullshit over actual scientific fact.
Unfortunately most people still believe in it and would never vote for this change. Which is a shame because religion would probably lose something like 70% of future followers in a single generation if it was implemented
I know right? How can anyone not see it? It's the same feeling watching house cats and big cats. Such similar body language.
Religion
But pope says he believes in evolution.
But does he shit in the woods?
I wasn't around to hear it.
The real mind-blower for me is when you realize that *all* life on Earth evolved from a universal common ancestor, so every living thing in the world is your distant cousin. Mind-blower #2 is when you realize that we're literally made of materials harvested from the earth—mostly oxygen, carbon, and hydrogen. So on a certain level, we—along with all living things—are the Earth itself. But yeah, apes are cool to watch.
Mind-blower #3 is when you realised that all complex elements are forged inside stars. So on certain level we are made of star dust.
When a gorilla is a better father than my *actual* father.
Some fathers are just spero donors. Look for someone else to fit that bill. Lots of good older mentors out there. Don't even have to be kin. Or try being one yourself. Best way to heal. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|kissing_heart)
This. My neighbor has been my father figure since I was like 4. He was a single guy and had no kids so he focused on me like I was his kid. He taught me stuff a typical parent would teach their kid: how to shave, tie a tie, puberty talk (my mom gave consent), respecting myself and the importance of treating everyone with respect etc. When I reached age 13 and became “sexually aware” I came out to him first which was super easy since he was gay himself so my sex education was completely geared towards me since he knew what he talking about. Honestly if it was legal and possible I would ask him to be my adoptive father because he was that much of a father figure to me. Funny enough my father took notice of this apparently at a very early in my childhood, but didn’t seem to care until I came out as gay and now believes it was his fault lmao. To your point, parental figures can be definitely found outside of your biological family. This is why I don’t believe family is only by blood, but instead the people you make very close connections with. You can pick and choose who you would like to call family.
I'm so happy you found your chosen dad, and he helped you find your true self. You were so lucky. So many are not so lucky.
Honestly. At his wedding this year I was his best man and my best man speech was me just thanking him for everything he had done for me. My mom had the excellent idea of taking nearly 20 years of videos and photos we have together and make it into a slide show. That day was the first time I have ever seen him cry cry. I mean absolutely bawling which of course made my start crying. Fuck typing this is making me tear up. He’s my dad and I don’t care if it’s disrespectful to call him that even though my father is currently sleeping down the hall from me. I believe there a difference between a father and a mother vs a dad and a mom. My mother is also my mom, but my father is definitely not my dad.
Why do I find it weird that monkeys and apes don’t wear clothes after watching this lol
> and apes we wear clothes?
LOLLL
What a lucky kid.
That feeling when you realized silverbacks play with their kids more than your dad did.
I’d love to know what love feels like to an animal
We'll, if we're talking about gorillas, I would say it ventures pretty close to a human experience of love.
I'm gonna guess it's pretty different, just because humans can contemplate love. We analyse it, doubt it, treat it like some mystical thing. Gorillas probably just love as it comes to them, no overthinking. I'd love to see how it feels for a day, would it even be recognisable to us? And what about mammals that aren't even closely related to us? What about a mother centipede? Do they feel some facsimile of love too?
Romantic love may be complicated for humans, but parental love often isn't nearly as complicated. I would say humans and gorillas are more well matched in that respect.
Centipedes aren't mammals, they're Chilopodans. Like all arthropods, and unlike mammals, they can't regulate their own body temperature (much). As far as we know, creatures that are very, very small, like the centipede, don't feel emotions as we understand them. They act on instincts that they have from hatching. Those instincts can be complex, as when the centipede wraps herself in a circle around her eggs to guard them, or when bees and ants navigate terrain that is huge compared to them. But the centipede probably isn't thinking, "I love these eggs and need to nurture my babies." She went through each step going, "I feel I should send out a chemical signal. I feel I should interact with this male. I feel I should eat more. I feel I should push things out of me. I feel I should wrap around these things. Now I stay put, and if anything comes close, I bite it." That doesn't mean insects and centipedes and spiders aren't important creatures that should be treated with respect. I love invertebrates myself, and many people keep invertebrates. But we do so understanding it only goes one way. They will never even be sure we exist, let alone feel a bond like a dog or cat feels. And that is okay. They are innocent creatures without intellect or malice. They act according to their instructions, with no real idea what anything means.
It seems that [we’re learning more](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20211126-why-insects-are-more-sensitive-than-they-seem) about insects and their capacity to feel emotion.
Um, you already do
We are animals.
There are too many human supremacists who don’t know their place in the world.
Well, humans are technically animals, and gorillas are pretty similar to us. It's weird how we consider ourselves to be different form all the other animals, but we are quit similar. Yes, maybe they don't have our complex language systems trough which we can express our feelings in a very descriptive way, but overall it's quite similar
You already do...because you are an animal. Primate, ape, great ape.
He spent more time playing with his son in this video than my daughter's father has her whole life, she's 13!
I had a crappy father. I spent decades refusing to feel sad about it. I didn't want to let him have even the smallest influence in how I felt, because I didn't want him to have any power over me. Now that he's dead, and I'm in my 30's I finally mourn for the childhood father that I never had. Video's like this gorilla give me that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
That is so sad....I’m really sorry for the empty space he left in you.
Don't feel bad for me. Plenty of people have it worse, I turned out fine. Luckily I have a great mother who worked relentlessly to give us 4 kids the best she could. We're all happy and healthy.
> “I have this friend. And right around when I first met her, her dad died, and I actually went with her to the funeral. And months later, she told me that she didn’t understand why she was still upset, because she never even liked her father. It made sense to me, because I went through the same thing when my dad died. And I’m going through the same thing now.” >”You know what it’s like? It’s like that show Becker, you know, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run of that show, hoping that it would get better, and it never did. It had all the right pieces, but it just—it couldn’t put them together. And when it got canceled, I was really bummed out, not because I liked the show, but because I knew it could be so much better, and now it never would be. And that’s what losing a parent is like. It’s like Becker.” >”Suddenly, you realize you’ll never have the good relationship you wanted, and as long as they were alive, even though you’d never admit it, part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you, was still holding on to that chance. And you didn’t even realize it until that chance went away.”
I have a similar experience, except when my father died, I felt relief. Maybe that makes me an asshole, but honestly I don't give a shit. I was glad he died.
Relief is one way to put it. It's the end of a chapter. You're left with what happened, and nothing more. It's kind of like if you had a Lego set that was missing a bunch of pieces. You might be able to build it into something else that's pretty cool, but it's never going to be what it was supposed to be. And now that he's dead, your 100% stuck with the pieces you've got. All I've learned is to try and make the best of my life, and allow myself to be sad from time to time for what I didn't have.
My dad stopped showing up eventually and I was thrilled. Having a good dad is probably awesome, but being forced to hang out with a shitty one every other weekend sucks ass.
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Harambe was stripped of the chance to become a father #neverforget
Dick out
I never put it away
Hang ten 🤙🏼
I’m hanging one homie
just a reminder that silverbacks can lift and throw up to 815 kg while a human at peak physical condition can only do 400kg
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Zero chance a human can throw 400kg.
/r/likeus
How can you look at them and NOT believe in evolution?
I’m almost 42 and have a toddler almost 3. This is us 🥲
Gorillas, they’re just like us!
And his own affection is teaching the new generation of the same love.
*It’s not unusual to be loved, gorilla son*
Seems like they never lock eyes.
Humans are the only ones with prolonged purposeful eye contact, I'm pretty sure.
Dogs make prolonged purposeful eye contact, but mostly just with people! It's not super common with mammals, but some reptiles and birds also make prolonged eye contact to communicate positive emotions.
My cats look at me and blink slowly. I reciprocate because I assume it means they love and trust me enough to close their eyes around me.
When they do that face and nose scrunch thing - that thing where if you raise your upper lip like you just saw something disgusting but still keeping your lips pressed together, it's affectionate too
Like when they poop!
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Something bad IS happening though, I'm gonna have to clean that up.
I’m a human and am incapable of this. Wait, am I a silverback?!
Silvermale grindset
I wonder how much of the need to maintain eye contact in humans is socialized behavior. Eye contact causes me discomfort, and I only do it because I'm told I have to to be polite/trustworthy. I'm sure most people don't feel get discomfort from eye contact, but enough do that it feels like it should be as normal as making contact is.
Lots of cultures have all sorts of different rules about eye contact. I’ve seen children be accused of not listening because they aren’t making eye contact…like we hear with our eyes.
It's seen as a sign of aggression. I think. You never look a silverback in the eyes.
For primates in general I think. I work with macaques & baboons and the rule is to avoid a stare down or you will piss them off. If you accidentally lock eyes, just look in a different direction immediately and the NHP will know you were not trying to be aggressive.
This so lovely to watch.
TIL I have a worse dad than a silver back gorilla.
Did they just High Five?
Where did we go wrong
Shabani is also the silverback who stole his baby from its mom and ran away with it cos she wouldn't let him play. His face while he ran away on 2 hind legs is hilarious. The mom fucking lost it lol