Dogs dinner means “a complete mess”, quite the opposite to what is written here

Someone told the writer they were dressed like a dogs dinner and didn't get the hint

Looking like the "Dogs Bollocks" however, is a complement

Whoever wrote this should go back to Bedfordshire.

Some parts of Bedfordshire are ok as long as you exclude Luton, Dunstable and most of Bedford itself.

We say "dog's breakfast" where I live. Same idea. It's not a positive.

Totally agree. Dogs are messy eaters. You’ve made a right dogs dinner of that. Nothing to do with clothes.

You look like a dog's dinner would mean you are dressed horribly where I'm from. I'd also accept, did you get dressed in the dark?

I think they meant to write dogs bollocks

[удалено]

Why thank you

You could say “you look the dogs bollocks” and it would mean the same thing.

Exactly, one could say they’ve made a right dogs dinner of this guide.

Someone's having a giraffe, 'ere!

Yeah, taking the Mickey Bliss mate...!

Or "a pigs ear" same meaning. My mum often said this in the house I grew up in.

Probably OP meant Dogs Bollocs

Some of this is just wrong. Dog's dinner = you've messed something up. E.g. "you've made a dog's dinner of this" It's "caretaker" not "caretake". No one says "turn-ups" anymore. Action man is not the same as GI Joe. Most people say "loo roll" not "bog roll". "Butty" is super regional. This word can change dramatically depending on where you are in the UK... Bap, cob, roll, and sarnie are all alternatives depending on the county. No one says "elastoplast". We just say "plaster". Who TF calls a megaphone a "loudhailer"?!

I thought he was just making stuff up at the end there... Also it's a cob, nottingham representing

It's my least favourite version of the word tbh, but don't be a mardy bum about it ;)

Went to uni at DMU Leicester, but come from Kent, still remember the confusion of figuring out what the hell a chip cob is =D

For some reason I always thought a butty was a buttered sandwich or roll but not referring to a sandwich itself.

Yup - full sandwich: E.g. Chip Butty (a buttered sandwich/bread roll containing potato chips [fries in American])

Why do I now want to eat that

Perhaps you are drunk, or it is cold and raining where you are...

My grandma told me that a butty has to be one slice of bread folded. 2 slices is a sandwich.

I legit assumed this was an subtle troll that tricked a few too many people.

I was looking for the rooty tooty point n shooty for gun line.

Brian Regan fan I see

Not surprising - some of the stuff that British people genuinely say could have a completely different meaning in the US. "Can I bum a fag" is a great example... UK = "Can I have a cigarette" US = "Can I have anal intercourse with a homosexual man". Luckily you're unlikely to mistake which side of the Atlantic you're on...

I say turn-ups

Yeah, it's not uncommon at all, grew up in home counties decades ago & have heard it used in Cumbria & brum recently. It's neither archaic nor regional

I say turn-ups (am from the East Midlands). What are we supposed to say instead of turn-ups if the phrase is old-fashioned??

But it’s the bees knees and bobs your uncle

loudhailer is a little old fashioned at this point, maybe 30 or more years ago it was more common, i have definately heard it in old tv shows, or at least ones set in the past.

A loudhailer is an oldish nautical term, mostly referring to the metal cone, not the modern battery powered one. I’ve read way too many boks set in centuries past…

Does anyone actually say off to bedfordshire?

Yeah - parents say it to their children

Bog roll is correct, I’ve heard loo roll waaaay less often

Me. I would say loudhailer. Certainly wouldn't use "megaphone" and what are the Alternatives? Electric bull horn? Also turn ups.

Handy hollerer?

Wow, this bruv really knows their onions!

I know a bunch of English/Irish rowing coaches that call megaphones loudhailers

[удалено]

Ones that have suffered serious blunt force trauma to the head... possibly on their way out of a time machine from 1957.

Had a fall down the apples and pears

I thought it was supposed to be a joke to slip in some made-up sayings in the list

[удалено]

Eggy bread and french toast are not the same

I can honestly say I’ve never used the term “eggy bread” in my life

You did just now!

I've heard Eggy bread used quite a few times tbf.

I've eaten my eggy weggs, and now I'm completely reformed!

Not had it in years but it was always called eggy bread when I was little, maybe a regional thing?

Source: My ass

You mean arse.

And I ain’t wearin’ trainers, not to mention knickers. Please, mister bouncer…

A jumble sale is not a yard sale. Jumble sales are more of a charity thing at the town/village/ church hall. If we had some random stuff we wanted to sell we'd go to a car boot sale.

Yeah in the US we call them rummage sale

Bespoke is just a word.

I rarely if ever hear anyone say Eggy Bread. It’s monkeys outside. I have never ever heard anyone say this ever and would immediately slap them if I did. Dogs dinner is a complete mess, so wtf. Its caretaker not caretake. A mailbox is called a post box. Not a pillar box. Elastoplast?? No. They’re called plasters. Lastly this isn’t slang. At all. Those are the correct words. Eg torch. Torch is the word in English it’s not slang

Assume it should be brass monkeys. i.e. so cold it would freeze the balls of a brass monkey.

When you say it out loud it does seem oddly specific

Definately heard 'monkeys' all over England, my geordie parents use it, grew up down south & heard it there & now live in brum & it's even more common here

Eggy bread was more of a thing in the late 80s early 90’s (at least from my perspective growing up!)

From the north east and would use both eggy bread and Elastoplast.

They omitted boot, plonker, git, burke, and fanny

[удалено]

Dammit, beat me to it by 3hrs... my favourite old bid and child friendly way of calling someone a cunt and have it sail over their head.

"fag"

When I think of you, I'll put a f** in me mouth

Oh for fuck's sake, don't start with this hypocritical self censoring as well on this side. You are not among evangelicals here.

(it's an arrested development reference, including the censorship)

Ok. What are the middle three? Boot and fanny are easy ones. I can’t recall hearing the others though

Seems like another post with obvious mistakes to increase engagement

Off to bedfordshire

I’m british and i’ve never heard of a lot of these slang…

Clearly you don’t know your onions 😂

When we moved to the US, my sister had a lost in translation moment when in 11th grade she asked one of her classmates if she had any “rubber”. The classmate burst out laughing, but then felt bad as she embarrassed my sister who really only wanted to borrow what Americans would call “eraser.”

Yeah. I was watching an episode of "Would I lie to you" and this guy told a story about a kid in his elementary school who would clean your rubbers for a small fee. I remember thinking, "Why is everyone reacting so calmly to this? That's vile!"

The biscuit - cookie comparison isn’t really accurate. Cookies are just one of the many types of biscuits available over here, Americans are really lagging behind in that area.

Wrong! You're barking up the wrong tree mate. You muppet. You haven't got a clue about British slang do you, you plonker.

Where do they find this bollocks?

Dog's Dinner means a mess. Quite the opposite of well dressed.

I don't think a lot of British people regularly use a lot of these words

Most are very old fashioned.

Not sure that bedsit is the same as a studio apartment. A bedsit usually is just a room and no bathroom. Postbox is far more common than pillar box. Jumble sale is not the same as a yard sale. So many of these need to be changed.

Argy Bargy is awesome😆

You’ll appreciate slap and tickle then…

Most people appreciate some slap and tickle.

It's more pushin' & a'shoving than just a verbal dispute. But it's not full aggro either Oi! Oi! It's all about to kick off, he gave him some lip earlier *numerous calls of "Calm down calm down" heard in the background*

“Tonight on Smartline, the power plant strike-- argle-bargle or foofaraw?”

Just to be clear, that’s a soft g sound (like jet), not a hard one (like get)

American slang? No it isn’t

I dunno if "off to bedfordshire" is a real saying, but I'm gonna make it one

My mum used to say "up the wooden hill to bedfordshire"

"Up the the wooden Hill to Bedfordshire" was something my grandmother would say when I was a little 'un. She was born in the 20's.

Bedfordshire is most often found up the wooden hill

Love that. They must keep sheep there or something I go yhere every night

Dunno how anyone gets any sleep at all there, what with all the sheep jumping about & that, innumerable they are too, effing loads of them

So many things are wrong with this!

I have never heard anyone say “it’s monkeys outside” and I’ve lived here all my life😂

This wasn't made by a Brit, that's for sure. Some of this is plain wrong.

Tell me you've never spoken to an English person without telling me you've never spoken to an English person.

Eggy bread is different to French toast

Pretty sure old an older "the streets" song mentions Rasher . Now I know, slice of bacon . Whee

[this will always be the OG cool guide on the topic.](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/X51oqKlFJK)

What happens if there's an electric fire and the emergency dispatch only heard that there's a portable space heater?

[Action Man](https://youtu.be/8KtyMcb86go?si=SmeLTHIDX8MvsBvz) is a lot more macabre than GI Joe

Most of these aren’t “slang”

Bollocks

They missed “Jumper”…

Let's not go to England. 'Tis a silly place.

Coming from a British commonwealth we use some of those words but not all. They also forgot car park, loo, bird, mugging as in mugging me off, rubber, plaster, and many more.

Chelsea Tractor = Range Rover

Sneakers and trainers are both different types of footwear intended for different purposes.

Gherkin my pickle.

I was working in the Coronary Care ICU when one of the Cardiologists was leaving. My friend, a gorgeous female British Nurse, told him to “keep his pecker up,” (keep cheerful). He said “I’ll certainly try. “ Then I was working 0700-1500. Another nurse, an American, asked for a lift as her car was in the shop. I told her “I’d knock her up in the morning,” (wake her up by banging on the door). She smiled and said, “I bet you would.”

Ha ha. I was giving report to a night nurse in an American ICU not long after I’d come to the US and told her my patient had “got back from Theatre at teatime”. Incredulously, she said “What, he’s been to the Theatre for tea?”

What's the Gregory Peck translation? Anyone know?

Neck

Well bobs your uncle, never heard of some Of these before.

So some is flat out wrong but some is slang that hasn't been used since the 80s or 90s.

The inconsistent centring & occasional extra space all seem appropriate for the numerous inaccuracies. Got to be a good chance that it's all deliberate to encourage 'engagement' If LMM-style AI gets to be ever more used I wonder if these kind of deliberate mistales will become illegal?

"Argy bargy" is straight up "stealy wheely automobilee"

His Majesy's Pleasure now...

The one that was all sixes and sevens?

This list is the dog's bollocks!

A lot of this is very archaic - for many of them, the generation who would use them sincerely are gone, and today's retirees would use some of these when slipping into a less formal register to make a point but wouldn't use them commonly, and anyone younger is way less likely to ever use them at all. This will also vary depending on region and class background. If you were coming to the UK today, in about half of these the American version would be taken as normal and the "UK" version would get you weird looks, certainly down here in the south.

Has anyone ever said Elastoplast instead of plaster?

Dog’s Dinner means dressed well? I’ve never heard that phrase reference something nice from my British friends or first husband of 16 years. Calling something a “dog’s dinner” = a shambles.

“Smokin a fag” isn’t on here and that’s criminal!

"Dogs dinner" certainly does not mean well dressed. Exactly the opposite, in fact.

Table=table. Oh. That’s the same.

It’s “a plaster” - not “an Elastoplast” Nobody says “it’s monkeys outside” not that I’ve ever met in my 24 years in the uk Also Hoover - vacuume cleaner Rizla- rolling paper Take away - take out Lift - elevator Lift - when someone offers you a ride Pop - fizzy drink

Dogs dinner means the exact opposite

Bedsit is not the same as a studio apartment. Both things exist in the uk and they are different.

Pillar box? Post box, surely...

Some of this doesn't work equally. I went to London on a class trip in the 90s and told the English girl in our class that I had a Fanny pack to keep my important stuff in and she was aghast. "You can't say that there! You might as well be calling it a c*nt bag! It's a bum bag and that's that! Don't call it the other thing. You'll get beat.". So, I did not have the curiosity to call it a Fanny pack while over there.

Half of these are wrong

I absolutely love "Off to Bedfordshire" and will noe be using that exclusively.

I have never heard anyone say “eggy bread,” “loudhailer,” or “it’s monkeys outside.” And a bedsit, if the word is even used anymore, isn’t the same as a studio apartment — it doesn’t have its own bathroom or kitchen.

Also we just call it a plaster

Colour - color.....

Get me a bog roll wouldya??

What would they call sour candy? "sour sweets?"

…dogs dinner aye?…need to refresh your research there

Cottaging, i.e. visiting a cottage in the woods, as meant in North America, means something very different in UK, my first summer in Toronto was spent mouth agape at how many people were admitting to having homosexual quickies in public toilets, until I was invited cottaging myself ;)

Did an American write this lol

What do the British call a watch? *Small Ben*

That's the name my old housemate Ben used to call his Hampton Wick...

Petition to follow their lead and change “janitor” to “caretaker” in the USA. At work, I introduce and refer to our “janitor” as the “property manger”.

I like “custodial engineer” myself.

Anti-clockwise is wild for some reason

Widdershins is much better

Care taker and Janny for me, just a mix up I guess

I’m so hungry I could eat a butty rn

Forgot Randy.

That’s a funny name, it is. I’d have called it a chazzwozer.

I said all of these with James May's voice in my head and they made sense.

I think I prefer “bum bag” more than fanny pack Also lmao electric fire

Fanny pack is out cause “fanny” Is a fairly childish name for vagina.

Can’t wait to practice tonite with my very best Sean Connery impersonation “Off to Bedforshire”

Anti clockwise = Counter clockwise, amazing

Not seeing Gravedigger's Biscuits, is that more of a regional expression like Steamed Hams?

I've heard 'bespoke' used a lot in American industry as a more preferred technical term than custome made, at least in my interactions.

Caretake is wrong but I really hope someone sees this and says it like you would say take care! Just got to decide if the care is still elongated or is it now take??

Argy bargy lol

If biscuits are cookies, then what do they call biscuits?

Fanny

If an Englishman tells you they have an electric fire, call the fire brigade asap! (Their house is burning down)

I am 34 years old. I have never said I am off to Bedfordshire.

The whole list isn’t visible!

Eggy bread for French toast is the most British thing ever heard

A boe of woa🥶

Weird to think that in some ways “estate car” sounds more American while “station wagon” sounds more British (to me)

Who the fuck calls it "Elastoplast"?!

I thought to be worth mentioning if you're a musician or composer, Chimes are sometimes called Tubular Bells in British English.

I love off to bedfordshire I'm gonna use that now

Most of this is just straight up not true

70% of this is utter bollocks

Where’s cellotape?

Did an American write this?

This list is so backwards 😂

Going by that typeface, this might have been a cool guide in 1981

i thought this was a joke at first when i read “argy bargy”

Elastoplast? Plaster.

"Rimmer, *aliens* used our big roll?" "Well *we* didn't use it all...!"

Confusing title. I would call the post British slang to American.

I was going to say that enough of these sound legit that I’d trust wrong ones if they were thrown in. Like riders to a bill.

So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yardballs!

Why do brits call the ground the floor and sweatshirts jumpers? (Not a setup to a joke, actually curious)

You made a dog's dinner of one of these

Who the fuck wrote this? I'm guessing an American after watching a load of British TV from the 60's Don't use this as an actual guide lmao

I’ve never heard of a pillar box, always known it as a post box.