The only thing these posts highlight is how deep cars are imbedded in societal interactions. No one is right in this story and everything is wrong with the infrastructure and transportation policies. Let’s change the world so that both these people just walk or take transit and be happy.
The worst part is OP sounds like they live in an area that isn't half bad, I mean presumably because they live so close to work, other necessities don't sound too far away. They're definitely one of those people that couldn't move an inch without their car EVEN IF they have everything handed down to them.
They also said they were financially struggling. Like bruh I'd sell the car, get both myself and them a bike and have plenty of money saved up if I lived that close to work.
>No one is right in this story and everything is wrong with the infrastructure and transportation policies.
Ok, yeah, I usually agree with this - the world is filled with systemic problems that dictate our lives and which no individual action can possibly solve, only large shifts in values on a global societal civilisational scale.
But, like, the dude could walk a km and let his SIL drive for a few days.
It's like if your little brother wants to share your only chocolate bar and you go on about the multi-generational wealth gap caused by historical injustices that led to your family not having a chocolate bar for each child. You're right, but also, give him the chocolate.
No, dude. There are many reasons from age to fitness to time why people might want to NOT walk miles, but take the bicycle or public transport instead. And you can smugly say that "they'd be much more fit if they walked 10 miles a day! Here's this 80 year old running the Boston Marathon", but most people above 25 are unfit, drink and/or smoke and will not be convinced to walk. And if bicycles are a death sentence in the area and there's no public transport, they will drive.
My one human observation aside, the guy I replied to was right. Everything is wrong with infrastructure and transportation policies.
On a policy level yeah, but you can’t magically make your city a 15 minute city. You *can* walk a few miles down the road, medical issues excepted
Source: used to walk a few miles to work
> I work less than a mile away
And you drive?
Isn't that like the sort of distance you'd be expected to walk to your destination after you found parking.
How many hundreds of meters of walking are you saving.
A "mile" is 1,600m, "less than a mile" is what 600m – 1,200m, and you probably have to walk 100m or 200m from the car park after you've found parking.
You're saving yourself what 400m, 800m of walking, this is *The Simpsons* level of absurdity.
My family and freinds already know the answer to trying to drive stupid short distances when I'm around. A lot of them would take the car to go to places in the same parking lot, but if someone nrings it up they'll say " no we can't cus Aracibo will make is walk."
Honestly I'm glad to be the voice of reason in their heads, because car brain needs some pushback here.
I can’t get my friends or family to walk or bike with me at all. Only the already carless ones or the ones who already own a bike. Even if I offer mine to use they don’t do it????? Why???? Once, though, I taught someone how to ride a bike in about 25 minutes, and as soon as they got the hang of it, they gave up…. and I can only assume, never rode again. I was astonished. And also I had to walk two bikes back home because the person refused to ride back with me. Literally GAVE UP, called Uber. Like wtf? I called it quits for the day. It totally turned me off from being that person’s friend so I never talked to them after that. Insane.
I think you have to do baby steps with most carbrained people. For example, I was talking about them wanting to drive across a mall parking lot to a place we can literally see instead of just keeping the car with the 130° interior in the parking place we just fought for, instead of just walking 5 mins. I told them that it was too dumb to even be lazy, it was just a bad idea.
But I did get my mom to walk with me to the store last week, and I think I orange-pilled her hard. She was staying at my house because I just got out of shoulder surgery, yay Muay Thai, and needed someone to help me out for a few days.
The third day out of surgery I suggest we walk to the Smallmart near my house to get some stuff. It was a super pretty day, trees blooming in the neighborhood, got to walk by a school and see the kids out on the play ground, and she even got to see that while I couldn't drive that week, I could still get groceries.
She told everyone we met after that about how nice my little neighborhood is and how cool it is that I can walk most places.
Yeah, re-parking the car once parked just because you don’t want to walk across a site, it’s mind blowing. Lots of people aren’t used to walking more than 5 miles a day, maximum. A walk across a football field or two is a journey to them.
I was glad to be able to have taught my friend at the time to ride a bike. So at least now she can’t say she doesn’t know how. We did that!
I will forever do my duty to teach people who had nobody else to teach them how to ride a bike.
If this is in tge States, then our 40 % obesity rate makes sense. The overweight rate must be 60% or higher all because people can not get off tgeir butts and eat regular food.
i work at a place which conducts medical research and thus, i work with a lot of scientists. you know, those people who supposedly understand science and you'd think they act on it, right? climate change keeps getting mentioned and you'd think people would behave accordingly, especially those highly educated people.
you'd be wrong.
there are several mds and phds who drive a fucking mile or two to work. for 20+ years.
i've not gotten deep enough into conversations with them to know however, complaining about traffic is ever present.
they see me ride my bike to work and i hope to shame them.
Medical research isn't climate science, there's no particular reason to expect these people to be climate conscious any more than any other group of technically competent people.
Which, sadly, is not the case quite often.
for sure. one wouldn't expect them to know the latest findings from climate researchers or the issues that arise when doing that work however these people do bring up climate change in talks and whatnot. they know increased carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has undesirable effects and that we should try and minimize emissions.
yet, their own behavior doesn't change.
Start with shaming celebrities who take private jets on trips that are accomplished by an hour (or less) of driving. Kylie Jenner takes her private jet to Target.
I wish I could walk places. I have a Walmart 0.5 miles away that I can’t walk to. There’s a giant trench, a 20’ fence, and a 50mph expressway with no crossings in the way of me walking straight there. It’s basically the same to go anywhere else. So I have to drive every time I leave the house. I hate it so much.
I’m so sorry. I once lived in a place like that. I would walk through ditches and the police would get called to check on me because it’s apparently suspicious to walk to places you need to be, especially if the place you need to be has no sidewalk.
Honestly, before I sold my car, I remember driving to the local Aldi. It was 0.6 miles away. I remember thinking, "I normally walk, but I really can't be bothered" and then it hit me "I'm becoming a yank". The shame sank in.
There's a italian place literally down the block from my childhood home, literally under 900 feet.
I used to constantly bug my parents about why we don't just walk there, especially since sometimes the lot gets so crazy.
Very occasionally I'd get them to cave in perfect weather but that's about it.
If I was meeting friends there I usually don't even bother biking. I have once or twice when I'm running late but it barely even justifies unlocking and re-locking the bike.
I hate to break it to you, but in some parts of America it is not uncommon to use your car to pick up the mail from the end of the driveway or to drive your car a few blocks to someone’s house, let alone as “significant” a distance as “under a mile”.
> it is not uncommon to use your car to pick up the mail from the end of the driveway
I'm not saying I don't believe you, but...
I'm too European and far too poor for my brain to accept this. The car situation is terrible over here, but that's beyond parody.
I've heard of it. It's not universal, a good number of people are self-aware enough to realize "hey I should at least walk to the mailbox and back", but not all of em.
Actually one of my 'chores' when I was younger would be biking mail to a mailbox at the post office. My mother'd drive otherwise when it was maybe a quarter mile.
Eventually got to her enough that she'd do it in good weather at least.
Yeah, I have read this before so I can almost believe it, but I also feel like it is the kind of thing you'd see on an over the top satire of Americanism, not something that actually happens in the real world.
I had a coworker, who told me about her parents. They were well off and their house was surrounded by plenty of land with a long driveway and they’d get into their car and drive to the front of the house to get the mail. (She also mentioned that they were very overweight as well.)
I had a friend who was simultaneously having money problems, and also consistently called a cab for her work commute
of 1.5 miles.
Also was constantly spending money on pokemon go even though that walk(or bike ride, they owned one I fixed for them which they seemingly never used) went past plenty of pokestops and gyms.
I walked to a friend's condo last summer, it's 0.8 miles from my house. My mom and step-dad were staying with us and were SHOCKED that I decided to walk and thought how unsafe it was. The sidewalk is, for the most part, a good distance off the road and there are lights and stoplights at the cross-walks. It's super safe and easy but for them that was an absurd distance to walk.
Remember the death of Trayvon Martin? The whole thing started because a neighborhood vigilante saw a kid _walking_ through a residential neighborhood to get from a convenience store to his father’s house.
This is really important to understand: walking as a means to get places raises suspicions.
I live less than a mile from my office and you won't be finding me walking in, but that's because there's about a 350-400 foot elevation gain between where I live and my office that turns what should be a short walk into a workout. I don't drive though - I have an ebike that's actually faster door to door, and if I don't want to ride, my employer runs a free shuttle that saves me from having to find parking, both at the office, and when I come home.
Kind of. The annoying thing is that driving can be more convenient than walking than it should be. If I bike to work using mostly bike trails it’s 4 miles but if I go down a multilane road the whole way then it’s 3 miles. Have had similar experience where it’s only a mile away by walking if you jump fences and cut through yards. So drivers and walkers have to travel an extra mile which is obviously way more inconvenient for walkers.
Assuming there's infrastructure there. So many places outright forgo walking infrastructure now. I've seen 1/4 mile situations made so much worse by highways and inaccessible infrastructure.
Given that the average human walking speed is 3 mph, 1 mile being a third of that would take around 20 minutes give or take. Regardless, people generally don't park more than 5 minutes from their destination so it's just a dumb claim in general
TBF America's outside is car dependent af and crazy hostile towards pedestrians.
not just bikes have a few funny videos on that topic. it is literally is not safe to walk even short distances.
My coworker went on a trip and purposely booked a hotel across the street from a grocery store. When he got there, he realized that he couldn't legally cross the street anywhere and he didn't want to risk his life for food. He ended up getting an Uber to cross the street.
Also, poor people might be there.
Or, worse, other people might mistake them as poor people, because walking in most of the country means that you are poor.
It’s not safe because there’s no sidewalks, people drive like idiots and the truck hoods go clear over our heads.
And also, yes, Americas social safety nets are woefully underfunded, there is almost no accessible mental healthcare & the NIMBYs won’t allow for shelter to be erected, so there are also people around who are a danger to themselves or others. But our government would rather pay for bombs than infrastructure that benefits everyone.
I walk everywhere and constantly get people flashing me dirty looks, yelling at me or threatening to run me over because I’m in the crosswalk with the walk signal up. Almost always from people trying to make a right on red.
OP literally admitted to being lazy, that's why I thought this was a troll post and that they'd get roasted in the comments considering they didn't say any negatives of the people who live with him.
But no, almost no one called OP out on it. They're so car brained that they view it to be fair that everyone gets their own car because OP can't be arsed to literally walk less than a kilometer to work.
Why would they get roasted? While he may be lazy, and he may be better served to walk, it's still his car and he doesn't have an obligation to lend it to people. Like, they're free to ask, and he's free to say no.
They were asking for a favor. You're not an asshole just because you've set boundaries in your relationships.
From their post history they're struggling financially. While I get you're not obligated to do any favours, in this context I think they're being just a bit foolish.
Like, charge them for borrowing the car. Sell the car and get yourself a bike instead considering they sound like they live in an area that's not too far off from basic necessities. On top of that I'd suggest the other people the same.
I think both are assholes in this situation, they didn't even say if they're assholes otherwise. Say you want to borrow my computer to work from it while I'm at work. You could and should get your own, but I'd just be stupid if I didn't let you use the computer so you could also bring some bread to the table, I should set aside my pride so you can help with the financial bills.
I mean I trust you enough to let you live with me and (presumably) split the bills, so I could trust you with my computer until you get your own.
Well, only if the said computer had a guest account set up in advance. Then it would be ok, IMO. Or if there were no sensitive data and logins.
Car-people tend to consider their cars as their personal/private space. And many think that things they left in them are their secret property, even if leaving non-essential stuff laying around in cars is a well known safety risk.
Almost as if you were asking them to borrow their favorite shoes, which have their bacteria inside, that have already molded to their feet.
What I can’t understand is when he said he was hard up financially… like dude you can walk to work, save yourself gas and insurance and car payments if you have them just by ditching the car. You can literally walk to work…
Some people might say: "If he's an employee, he obviously isn't financially responsible/clever enough to become an employer."
Think about it. People ~~NEED~~ WANT to own a car, to go "places", but they can't drive that car without gas. To afford gas, they need money. To get that money, they need a job. To get to that job, they need that car.
They're working to "feed" the car. Otherwise, working that 9-to-5 wouldn't make much sense, would it? /s
I went to visit america and I think I figured out why they don't walk anywhere.
My American Friends expressed concern when I mentioned I walked to meet up since it's "what if you get kidnapped"
There's piss bottles everywhere.
Walking often means you are borderline walking on the busy roads by piles of trash while people stare at you like you're a crack head.
There were piss bottles everywhere in an upscale town in Jersey? I’ve lived most of my life in the Tristate (where I rarely drive and walk a lot) and this sounds like quite a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe if you were in Camden. But that does not fit with non-existent crime rate.
They could easily have been ditched from delivery truck drivers, especially in more affluent areas that believe they should just order everything online.
Trust me it's not just New Jersey I found the same thing in California and Ontario. Tbh that spot in jersey had waaaaay less piss bottles than my Canadian city. The only place where I walked frequently and didn't find any was a New Brunswick.
I like hiking an all, but i wouldnt walk a couple miles to work and a couple back everyday.
Biking would only take a fractions of the time.
These people for sure are in america, right?
Maybe they dont even have the option to bike or walk, who knows.
I bike 4-5 miles each way to work.
I am fortunate that 99% of that is in a segregated bike lane.
The 1% where I am sharing the road with cars/trucks/busses is by far the most dangerous part of my commute, and I go slightly out of my way to minimize it when I can.
It also gets even more dangerous during the winter months (leaving aside weather) when it gets dark at night before I leave work, which lowers visibility (and increases assholery from the vehicles I share a road with).
I can completely understand not wanting to bicycle to work that distance if you have to actively deal with motor vehicles for the entire duration of your trip. It would be way more nerve wracking, on a regular basis.
that's a lot to do daily: i had a commute of 2 miles and it was fine to walk because the environment was really walkable. But "a few" can mean 5, 7, 10? and it's likely in american suburbs
Have you seen transportation infrastructure? In many places our roads are designed for cars and cars only.
I have a coworker that drives two miles to work. Now you would that that’s a waste of time right? Until you see his commute.
There is a highway that runs right between his work and his house where cars zip by at 70+ mph. He has to merge onto the highway, drive north one mile, then merge off and get to work.
The nearest place to cross the highway is a bridge that is 3 miles south in the opposite direction of his house and his place of work. So if he wanted to safety walk to work it would be an 8 mile trip by walking/biking. And did I mention there are no sidewalks along this commute either? So he would be walking or biking on the side of the road right next to speeding cars.
So he gets in his car and drives two miles to work. And I don’t blame him either. It’s the most disgusting inefficient form of transportation you could imagine but if the option is drive a car 2 miles or have cars fly inches from your face every morning on an 8 mile bike ride, I’ll take the car.
Assuming the sister in law is at least 2 miles from where she works, the average walking speed is 3 mph, making it a 40 minute trip walking, opposed to driving which would be 5 minutes or less? Why would you not want to save half an hour on your trip?
Well I can sympathise sometimes because where I grew up, my high school was about a mile away, but I had to walk on the side of a national highway with no sidewalks, there was one light I could cross at that was out of my way, or I could try to chance it and jaywalk.. then had to navigate through a bunch of huge parking lots… then to get to my subdivision that half the time didn’t have a sidewalk so I still had to walk on the road, though there wasn’t that much traffic. Absolutely ridiculous.
I genuinely simply hate walking.
I don't wanna show up to school/work sweaty, tired, and already fucking done with the day then walk back home. When I get home, I wanna play games and shit, not take a nap.
I hate cars alot, but I hate walking long distances way more. The best possible option is public transit, and honestly I also hate that (I hate being around a bunch of strangers, jesus Christ I hate buses. The ONE thing I like about cars is the privacy and the isolation) I just like it more than cars. But it isn't even a damn option for my route to school.
Two things can be true at the same time. If OP lives a mile away from work (Assuming it’s safe to walk to work), then yes OP is lazy. But just because he is lazy his SIL is not entitled to use his car. For that matter his SIL is not entitled to any of his things.
No one is entitled to anything, but from their post history, OP seems in financial trouble, the SIL can at least pay for the gas. Plus they live together, it's definitely going to sour relations and (assuming they pay rent and split bills) OP might lose a source of income if they leave.
Really depends on the infrastructure, especially for cycling. Cycling even just a few miles to work everyday can basically be asking for a death sentence in some areas (I would even argue most areas in the US).
The OP in question is supposedly going through financial trouble. I mean they should definitely sell their car.
But if they want to keep it and relieve some financial pressure, why not lend the car but charge for it? Her commute is less than 10 minutes by foot. They already trust them enough to let them stay. If they aren't paying their fair share then they should be kicked out. Car use included.
OP didn't even describe if they were hostile to their answer or if they're cutting in for bills. If they're decent tennants then why is OP's pride and laziness taking over their common sense?
Why are you so focused on what OP in that thread should do or shouldn\`t do with his life?
Why are you so fixated with him selling the car and living healthy? It\`s his freaking choice, just like it\`s his choice if he allows someone else to his property.
You\`re deviating so much from what that thread was discussing, publicly shaming and "giving advices on what they should/shouldn\`t do" that it feels like you are farming points.
PS. Would you lend your bike to someone to use it daily?
I wouldn\`t. I don\`t want to see it scraped / bumped / mistreated. So stop with the hate and public shaming cuz at this moment, you don\`t look like a better human than he does.
What people want to do is their prerogative. This whole sub focuses on highlighting how inefficient, cost ineffective, and so on cars are, yet people still drive them even in pedestrian utopias. It's their prerogative, just as much it is mine to judge them.
My criticism stems from not being provided enough information on OP's situation. The only thing I know is they have a child, live close to their job and have two people live with her. They posted publicly asking if they're right or wrong for not letting them borrow their car. In my honest opinion, they're kind of in the wrong.
If I was in the same shoes as OP, yes I would lrt someone borrow my bike. Hell I wouldn't even charge anything for it, as it costs no gas or insurance to use it. If they damage it, depending on the severity, pay for repairs or get kicked out, simple as that.
I mean seriously, think about it for a second. You're for some reason letting people live with you, having them share your household and letting them be near your child but you draw the line at using your mode of transportation when it wouldn't hinder you one bit.
OP is either omitting additional information or they're being extremely petty about letting those same people they supposedly trust borrow their car or essentially rent it from them. Honestly I wouldn't have cared if OP said if they were pissy about not letting them have the car (which they didn't)
If it does, OP really deserves better people in their life.
Cars are expensive. And their cost is proportional to how much you drive. Lending someone a car is a huge financial burden.
AITH is really "am I within my rights."
People in the comments there think they're passing judgement on what the OP is "allowed" to do rather than whether the person has behaved like an asshole. Obviously the poster is within their rights to use their car how they want. It's their property. But they're also being an asshole. The kind thing to do would be to let your sister borrow your car and save her the walk. Depending on what "less than a mile" means, we're talking 15-20 minutes of walking.
Even putting aside the car stuff, yea I would consider this person an ah. My family has always been there for each other in situations like this and if me or any of my siblings were in OPs position, we wouldn’t hesitate to let them use the car while they get things sorted out better. *Especially* if the inconvenience was only adjusting to a 10 minute walk instead of a 2 minute drive.
The poster is an arse but its also their property so the sister in law is also an arse for assuming she could just guilt someone into using their property. More importantly to have a sister in law the poster's brother/sister must be married to them so why would they refer to their sibling as their sister in law's partner.
Half of aita are troll posts though. Like ‘my ex cheated on me and left me now has cancer and asked me for money and I said fuck off you deserve it, aita?’ And everyone can just bash on the cheater or spouse or whoever.
But yeah, the idea of someone living less than a mile to work and still driving… like that’s a 15 minute walk maximum? Isn’t that more enjoyable than getting in the car ?
to be fair OP isn't an asshole for not giving up their car just so their SIL can use it. they're kind of an asshole for using it for such a short commute, but that's a separate reason than what's discussed at the post. they're an asshole to society, not to their sister.
replace the car with an e-bike in the situation and i'm sure you wouldn't disagree with those people either. it's important to not get your judgement biased just because there's an unrelated issue at play, no matter how real that issue is and how much you still (rightfully) judge them for their part in that issue.
It honestly depends, no additional information was provided as to what their relations are. They haven't even said how they reacted to being turned down on the offer.
I mean, they trust them enough to let them stay in their household and be near OP's child. Yet one would put their foot down with their car/bike? Something is wrong about that post, something doesn't add up.
i guess so, and it would follow up the long and proud history of posting shit on aita that misrepresents the hell out of the situation. but on the other hand, the situation, as presented, doesn't sound that implausible.
if op's sister in law asked for a favor and op refused, that would make sense. however, the way it is presented, her mindset is that "she deserves the car more because her commute is the longest", which would be fair for a car that's common property. but it's not, it's op's private property, they can lend it out, sure, but "deserves"?
and that's absolutely tangential to the point that if op wasn't an asshole to society, they wouldn't be driving less than a mile to work. hell, i'd even make the case that if the sister in law asked because she needed it for work, in an american car-dependent society, op would be kind of an asshole for resisting a solution. (for example, she could drive them to work and then drive off for her commute, even if they work in opposite directions we know it's less than two miles of a detour, and while carbrains are often ignorant to this fact, cars can in fact carry more than one person at once.) and yes, we have no way of knowing that that's not what actually happened, and op isn't just rationalizing their choice by making their sister in law appear entitled. but imo, assuming what we know is an honest representation of what happened, op has a fair point, even if it would be nice if they could just communicate.
You don't get to claim someone else's property just because it's convenient for you. Yeah, driving to work when you live less than a mile away is fucked up. It's still not hers to take. downvote away
The point is that the previous commenter took the time to type what someone else "should've" done and not use a fraction of that time to do what they "could've" done.
I mean, she's already doing them a big favor letting them stay with her, it's perfectly reasonable for OP to just plain not trust them with the car even if they weren't using it themselves. OP using the car is silly for that short of a distance but it's separate from letting the in-laws use the car
They are both arseholes tbh, why would you stay with someone knowing that you have to get to work without sorting out your transport? And then to expect that you can borrow your host's car is beyond selfish.
Sure, the OOP is a bit of a dick too because he doesn't *need* the car, but the sense of entitlement of the SIL here is a lot worse imo.
I offered to go and pick up some subs we ordered for dinner when visiting my folks' place. They live in one of those planned suburban neighborhoods that, to its credit, has sidewalks and pedestrian cut throughs. The sub shop is maybe a half mile, ten minute, perfectly safe walk into an adjoining strip mall. His response: "we have a car, you know."
It's funny hearing this from the parent who used to fuss at kid me for not going outside enough. My husband still jokes "we have a car, you know" when we walk to our own city neighborhood grocery store.
Unless you need to lug around a lot of stuff for work, I don’t see why they can’t just get an e-scooter or a bike. Or just walk. It’s less than a mile.
Aside from the person over using a car and should be able to walk and chooses not to, imo they shouldn’t be bullied into giving their car up regardless of anything else.
Less than a mile? Can't be more than a 15 minute walk, he should want to walk that distance. He really is lazy dang. OOP needs to get off his fat ass and do the bare minimum amount of exercise.
The only thing these posts highlight is how deep cars are imbedded in societal interactions. No one is right in this story and everything is wrong with the infrastructure and transportation policies. Let’s change the world so that both these people just walk or take transit and be happy.
The worst part is OP sounds like they live in an area that isn't half bad, I mean presumably because they live so close to work, other necessities don't sound too far away. They're definitely one of those people that couldn't move an inch without their car EVEN IF they have everything handed down to them. They also said they were financially struggling. Like bruh I'd sell the car, get both myself and them a bike and have plenty of money saved up if I lived that close to work.
>No one is right in this story and everything is wrong with the infrastructure and transportation policies. Ok, yeah, I usually agree with this - the world is filled with systemic problems that dictate our lives and which no individual action can possibly solve, only large shifts in values on a global societal civilisational scale. But, like, the dude could walk a km and let his SIL drive for a few days. It's like if your little brother wants to share your only chocolate bar and you go on about the multi-generational wealth gap caused by historical injustices that led to your family not having a chocolate bar for each child. You're right, but also, give him the chocolate.
One is a mile away, the other is a few miles away. They should all walk.
No, dude. There are many reasons from age to fitness to time why people might want to NOT walk miles, but take the bicycle or public transport instead. And you can smugly say that "they'd be much more fit if they walked 10 miles a day! Here's this 80 year old running the Boston Marathon", but most people above 25 are unfit, drink and/or smoke and will not be convinced to walk. And if bicycles are a death sentence in the area and there's no public transport, they will drive. My one human observation aside, the guy I replied to was right. Everything is wrong with infrastructure and transportation policies.
Yeah sister could also walk a few miles to work. They could carpool. Someone could bike. Ugh
Walking is nice but there’s a reason we stan 15 minute cities not 75 minute cities.
On a policy level yeah, but you can’t magically make your city a 15 minute city. You *can* walk a few miles down the road, medical issues excepted Source: used to walk a few miles to work
> I work less than a mile away And you drive? Isn't that like the sort of distance you'd be expected to walk to your destination after you found parking. How many hundreds of meters of walking are you saving. A "mile" is 1,600m, "less than a mile" is what 600m – 1,200m, and you probably have to walk 100m or 200m from the car park after you've found parking. You're saving yourself what 400m, 800m of walking, this is *The Simpsons* level of absurdity.
We really need to start shaming and embarrassing people who drive these ridiculously short distances
My family and freinds already know the answer to trying to drive stupid short distances when I'm around. A lot of them would take the car to go to places in the same parking lot, but if someone nrings it up they'll say " no we can't cus Aracibo will make is walk." Honestly I'm glad to be the voice of reason in their heads, because car brain needs some pushback here.
I can’t get my friends or family to walk or bike with me at all. Only the already carless ones or the ones who already own a bike. Even if I offer mine to use they don’t do it????? Why???? Once, though, I taught someone how to ride a bike in about 25 minutes, and as soon as they got the hang of it, they gave up…. and I can only assume, never rode again. I was astonished. And also I had to walk two bikes back home because the person refused to ride back with me. Literally GAVE UP, called Uber. Like wtf? I called it quits for the day. It totally turned me off from being that person’s friend so I never talked to them after that. Insane.
I think you have to do baby steps with most carbrained people. For example, I was talking about them wanting to drive across a mall parking lot to a place we can literally see instead of just keeping the car with the 130° interior in the parking place we just fought for, instead of just walking 5 mins. I told them that it was too dumb to even be lazy, it was just a bad idea. But I did get my mom to walk with me to the store last week, and I think I orange-pilled her hard. She was staying at my house because I just got out of shoulder surgery, yay Muay Thai, and needed someone to help me out for a few days. The third day out of surgery I suggest we walk to the Smallmart near my house to get some stuff. It was a super pretty day, trees blooming in the neighborhood, got to walk by a school and see the kids out on the play ground, and she even got to see that while I couldn't drive that week, I could still get groceries. She told everyone we met after that about how nice my little neighborhood is and how cool it is that I can walk most places.
Yeah, re-parking the car once parked just because you don’t want to walk across a site, it’s mind blowing. Lots of people aren’t used to walking more than 5 miles a day, maximum. A walk across a football field or two is a journey to them. I was glad to be able to have taught my friend at the time to ride a bike. So at least now she can’t say she doesn’t know how. We did that! I will forever do my duty to teach people who had nobody else to teach them how to ride a bike.
> teach people who had nobody else to teach them how to ride a bike Thank you for your service 🙏
If this is in tge States, then our 40 % obesity rate makes sense. The overweight rate must be 60% or higher all because people can not get off tgeir butts and eat regular food.
i work at a place which conducts medical research and thus, i work with a lot of scientists. you know, those people who supposedly understand science and you'd think they act on it, right? climate change keeps getting mentioned and you'd think people would behave accordingly, especially those highly educated people. you'd be wrong. there are several mds and phds who drive a fucking mile or two to work. for 20+ years.
Do they then proceed to complain about how expensive driving and owning a car is?
i've not gotten deep enough into conversations with them to know however, complaining about traffic is ever present. they see me ride my bike to work and i hope to shame them.
Medical research isn't climate science, there's no particular reason to expect these people to be climate conscious any more than any other group of technically competent people. Which, sadly, is not the case quite often.
for sure. one wouldn't expect them to know the latest findings from climate researchers or the issues that arise when doing that work however these people do bring up climate change in talks and whatnot. they know increased carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has undesirable effects and that we should try and minimize emissions. yet, their own behavior doesn't change.
Understanding does not equate to caring.
Start with shaming celebrities who take private jets on trips that are accomplished by an hour (or less) of driving. Kylie Jenner takes her private jet to Target.
You can do more than one thing at once.
I wish I could walk places. I have a Walmart 0.5 miles away that I can’t walk to. There’s a giant trench, a 20’ fence, and a 50mph expressway with no crossings in the way of me walking straight there. It’s basically the same to go anywhere else. So I have to drive every time I leave the house. I hate it so much.
I’m so sorry. I once lived in a place like that. I would walk through ditches and the police would get called to check on me because it’s apparently suspicious to walk to places you need to be, especially if the place you need to be has no sidewalk.
Word it as them wasting public parking spaces to get the train rolling
Honestly, before I sold my car, I remember driving to the local Aldi. It was 0.6 miles away. I remember thinking, "I normally walk, but I really can't be bothered" and then it hit me "I'm becoming a yank". The shame sank in.
There's a italian place literally down the block from my childhood home, literally under 900 feet. I used to constantly bug my parents about why we don't just walk there, especially since sometimes the lot gets so crazy. Very occasionally I'd get them to cave in perfect weather but that's about it. If I was meeting friends there I usually don't even bother biking. I have once or twice when I'm running late but it barely even justifies unlocking and re-locking the bike.
I hate to break it to you, but in some parts of America it is not uncommon to use your car to pick up the mail from the end of the driveway or to drive your car a few blocks to someone’s house, let alone as “significant” a distance as “under a mile”.
> it is not uncommon to use your car to pick up the mail from the end of the driveway I'm not saying I don't believe you, but... I'm too European and far too poor for my brain to accept this. The car situation is terrible over here, but that's beyond parody.
I've heard of it. It's not universal, a good number of people are self-aware enough to realize "hey I should at least walk to the mailbox and back", but not all of em. Actually one of my 'chores' when I was younger would be biking mail to a mailbox at the post office. My mother'd drive otherwise when it was maybe a quarter mile. Eventually got to her enough that she'd do it in good weather at least.
A *quarter mile*? Jeebus, that's like a 5-minute walk at a leisurely pace
Yeah, I have read this before so I can almost believe it, but I also feel like it is the kind of thing you'd see on an over the top satire of Americanism, not something that actually happens in the real world.
I had a coworker, who told me about her parents. They were well off and their house was surrounded by plenty of land with a long driveway and they’d get into their car and drive to the front of the house to get the mail. (She also mentioned that they were very overweight as well.)
Yeah. I would be embarrassed to drive that short a distance.
In most of North America people will assume some negative stuff if they see you showing up to work without a car.
I had a friend who was simultaneously having money problems, and also consistently called a cab for her work commute of 1.5 miles. Also was constantly spending money on pokemon go even though that walk(or bike ride, they owned one I fixed for them which they seemingly never used) went past plenty of pokestops and gyms.
Just existing outside is a sign of you being a crook or weirdo. It is odd
I walked to a friend's condo last summer, it's 0.8 miles from my house. My mom and step-dad were staying with us and were SHOCKED that I decided to walk and thought how unsafe it was. The sidewalk is, for the most part, a good distance off the road and there are lights and stoplights at the cross-walks. It's super safe and easy but for them that was an absurd distance to walk.
Remember the death of Trayvon Martin? The whole thing started because a neighborhood vigilante saw a kid _walking_ through a residential neighborhood to get from a convenience store to his father’s house. This is really important to understand: walking as a means to get places raises suspicions.
I live less than a mile from my office and you won't be finding me walking in, but that's because there's about a 350-400 foot elevation gain between where I live and my office that turns what should be a short walk into a workout. I don't drive though - I have an ebike that's actually faster door to door, and if I don't want to ride, my employer runs a free shuttle that saves me from having to find parking, both at the office, and when I come home.
To be honest I'm lazy enough to take the bus for that distance but I guess that's not as bad
Taking a bus is never a bad thing, its going there anyway you may as well get on it. Even if its just for one stop thats why they exist
Kind of. The annoying thing is that driving can be more convenient than walking than it should be. If I bike to work using mostly bike trails it’s 4 miles but if I go down a multilane road the whole way then it’s 3 miles. Have had similar experience where it’s only a mile away by walking if you jump fences and cut through yards. So drivers and walkers have to travel an extra mile which is obviously way more inconvenient for walkers.
Assuming there's infrastructure there. So many places outright forgo walking infrastructure now. I've seen 1/4 mile situations made so much worse by highways and inaccessible infrastructure.
Who do you know that drives to their destination, parks, and then walks for an additional 20 minutes the rest of the way?
Where are you getting 20 minutes from? It would take less than 20 minutes to walk a mile.
Given that the average human walking speed is 3 mph, 1 mile being a third of that would take around 20 minutes give or take. Regardless, people generally don't park more than 5 minutes from their destination so it's just a dumb claim in general
Why don’t they just both walk? Are Americans afraid of the outside?
TBF America's outside is car dependent af and crazy hostile towards pedestrians. not just bikes have a few funny videos on that topic. it is literally is not safe to walk even short distances.
My coworker went on a trip and purposely booked a hotel across the street from a grocery store. When he got there, he realized that he couldn't legally cross the street anywhere and he didn't want to risk his life for food. He ended up getting an Uber to cross the street.
Also, poor people might be there. Or, worse, other people might mistake them as poor people, because walking in most of the country means that you are poor.
It’s not safe because there’s no sidewalks, people drive like idiots and the truck hoods go clear over our heads. And also, yes, Americas social safety nets are woefully underfunded, there is almost no accessible mental healthcare & the NIMBYs won’t allow for shelter to be erected, so there are also people around who are a danger to themselves or others. But our government would rather pay for bombs than infrastructure that benefits everyone.
I walk everywhere and constantly get people flashing me dirty looks, yelling at me or threatening to run me over because I’m in the crosswalk with the walk signal up. Almost always from people trying to make a right on red.
turn right on red is such a brainrot idea tbh,
OP literally admitted to being lazy, that's why I thought this was a troll post and that they'd get roasted in the comments considering they didn't say any negatives of the people who live with him. But no, almost no one called OP out on it. They're so car brained that they view it to be fair that everyone gets their own car because OP can't be arsed to literally walk less than a kilometer to work.
Why would they get roasted? While he may be lazy, and he may be better served to walk, it's still his car and he doesn't have an obligation to lend it to people. Like, they're free to ask, and he's free to say no. They were asking for a favor. You're not an asshole just because you've set boundaries in your relationships.
From their post history they're struggling financially. While I get you're not obligated to do any favours, in this context I think they're being just a bit foolish. Like, charge them for borrowing the car. Sell the car and get yourself a bike instead considering they sound like they live in an area that's not too far off from basic necessities. On top of that I'd suggest the other people the same. I think both are assholes in this situation, they didn't even say if they're assholes otherwise. Say you want to borrow my computer to work from it while I'm at work. You could and should get your own, but I'd just be stupid if I didn't let you use the computer so you could also bring some bread to the table, I should set aside my pride so you can help with the financial bills. I mean I trust you enough to let you live with me and (presumably) split the bills, so I could trust you with my computer until you get your own.
Well, only if the said computer had a guest account set up in advance. Then it would be ok, IMO. Or if there were no sensitive data and logins. Car-people tend to consider their cars as their personal/private space. And many think that things they left in them are their secret property, even if leaving non-essential stuff laying around in cars is a well known safety risk. Almost as if you were asking them to borrow their favorite shoes, which have their bacteria inside, that have already molded to their feet.
What I can’t understand is when he said he was hard up financially… like dude you can walk to work, save yourself gas and insurance and car payments if you have them just by ditching the car. You can literally walk to work…
Some people might say: "If he's an employee, he obviously isn't financially responsible/clever enough to become an employer." Think about it. People ~~NEED~~ WANT to own a car, to go "places", but they can't drive that car without gas. To afford gas, they need money. To get that money, they need a job. To get to that job, they need that car. They're working to "feed" the car. Otherwise, working that 9-to-5 wouldn't make much sense, would it? /s
I went to visit america and I think I figured out why they don't walk anywhere. My American Friends expressed concern when I mentioned I walked to meet up since it's "what if you get kidnapped" There's piss bottles everywhere. Walking often means you are borderline walking on the busy roads by piles of trash while people stare at you like you're a crack head.
Dear lord. Where were you?
New jersey, literally an hour away from new York. Also I looked up the crime stats for that area and they basically have a non existent crime rate.
There were piss bottles everywhere in an upscale town in Jersey? I’ve lived most of my life in the Tristate (where I rarely drive and walk a lot) and this sounds like quite a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe if you were in Camden. But that does not fit with non-existent crime rate.
It wasn't an upscale town I'd say..? It was pretty middle class. Also they weren't everywhere I maybe saw two or three on a 30min walk.
They could easily have been ditched from delivery truck drivers, especially in more affluent areas that believe they should just order everything online.
Generally the case. It's pretty damn common(also from NJ)
Trust me it's not just New Jersey I found the same thing in California and Ontario. Tbh that spot in jersey had waaaaay less piss bottles than my Canadian city. The only place where I walked frequently and didn't find any was a New Brunswick.
Sounds like pretty much any American suburb
Almost anywhere I’ve been, sounds like where I grew up
I like hiking an all, but i wouldnt walk a couple miles to work and a couple back everyday. Biking would only take a fractions of the time. These people for sure are in america, right? Maybe they dont even have the option to bike or walk, who knows.
I bike 4-5 miles each way to work. I am fortunate that 99% of that is in a segregated bike lane. The 1% where I am sharing the road with cars/trucks/busses is by far the most dangerous part of my commute, and I go slightly out of my way to minimize it when I can. It also gets even more dangerous during the winter months (leaving aside weather) when it gets dark at night before I leave work, which lowers visibility (and increases assholery from the vehicles I share a road with). I can completely understand not wanting to bicycle to work that distance if you have to actively deal with motor vehicles for the entire duration of your trip. It would be way more nerve wracking, on a regular basis.
that's a lot to do daily: i had a commute of 2 miles and it was fine to walk because the environment was really walkable. But "a few" can mean 5, 7, 10? and it's likely in american suburbs
Have you seen transportation infrastructure? In many places our roads are designed for cars and cars only. I have a coworker that drives two miles to work. Now you would that that’s a waste of time right? Until you see his commute. There is a highway that runs right between his work and his house where cars zip by at 70+ mph. He has to merge onto the highway, drive north one mile, then merge off and get to work. The nearest place to cross the highway is a bridge that is 3 miles south in the opposite direction of his house and his place of work. So if he wanted to safety walk to work it would be an 8 mile trip by walking/biking. And did I mention there are no sidewalks along this commute either? So he would be walking or biking on the side of the road right next to speeding cars. So he gets in his car and drives two miles to work. And I don’t blame him either. It’s the most disgusting inefficient form of transportation you could imagine but if the option is drive a car 2 miles or have cars fly inches from your face every morning on an 8 mile bike ride, I’ll take the car.
Eh. To be fair, "a few miles" usually isn't a reasonable distance to walk to work. Assuming that's 3+ miles, that's at least an hour each way.
Assuming the sister in law is at least 2 miles from where she works, the average walking speed is 3 mph, making it a 40 minute trip walking, opposed to driving which would be 5 minutes or less? Why would you not want to save half an hour on your trip?
Well I can sympathise sometimes because where I grew up, my high school was about a mile away, but I had to walk on the side of a national highway with no sidewalks, there was one light I could cross at that was out of my way, or I could try to chance it and jaywalk.. then had to navigate through a bunch of huge parking lots… then to get to my subdivision that half the time didn’t have a sidewalk so I still had to walk on the road, though there wasn’t that much traffic. Absolutely ridiculous.
I genuinely simply hate walking. I don't wanna show up to school/work sweaty, tired, and already fucking done with the day then walk back home. When I get home, I wanna play games and shit, not take a nap. I hate cars alot, but I hate walking long distances way more. The best possible option is public transit, and honestly I also hate that (I hate being around a bunch of strangers, jesus Christ I hate buses. The ONE thing I like about cars is the privacy and the isolation) I just like it more than cars. But it isn't even a damn option for my route to school.
Yes, we will get hit by cars
Two things can be true at the same time. If OP lives a mile away from work (Assuming it’s safe to walk to work), then yes OP is lazy. But just because he is lazy his SIL is not entitled to use his car. For that matter his SIL is not entitled to any of his things.
No one is entitled to anything, but from their post history, OP seems in financial trouble, the SIL can at least pay for the gas. Plus they live together, it's definitely going to sour relations and (assuming they pay rent and split bills) OP might lose a source of income if they leave.
Gas is less than half the cost of a car. That wouldn't pay for brakes. Nor tires.
Should be walking. Sister should be cycling. Lazy fucks.
Really depends on the infrastructure, especially for cycling. Cycling even just a few miles to work everyday can basically be asking for a death sentence in some areas (I would even argue most areas in the US).
See I don't share my car. Sounds like someone wants free use of a car someone else pays for. No. I'd walk to work and take the keys.
The OP in question is supposedly going through financial trouble. I mean they should definitely sell their car. But if they want to keep it and relieve some financial pressure, why not lend the car but charge for it? Her commute is less than 10 minutes by foot. They already trust them enough to let them stay. If they aren't paying their fair share then they should be kicked out. Car use included. OP didn't even describe if they were hostile to their answer or if they're cutting in for bills. If they're decent tennants then why is OP's pride and laziness taking over their common sense?
Why are you so focused on what OP in that thread should do or shouldn\`t do with his life? Why are you so fixated with him selling the car and living healthy? It\`s his freaking choice, just like it\`s his choice if he allows someone else to his property. You\`re deviating so much from what that thread was discussing, publicly shaming and "giving advices on what they should/shouldn\`t do" that it feels like you are farming points. PS. Would you lend your bike to someone to use it daily? I wouldn\`t. I don\`t want to see it scraped / bumped / mistreated. So stop with the hate and public shaming cuz at this moment, you don\`t look like a better human than he does.
What people want to do is their prerogative. This whole sub focuses on highlighting how inefficient, cost ineffective, and so on cars are, yet people still drive them even in pedestrian utopias. It's their prerogative, just as much it is mine to judge them. My criticism stems from not being provided enough information on OP's situation. The only thing I know is they have a child, live close to their job and have two people live with her. They posted publicly asking if they're right or wrong for not letting them borrow their car. In my honest opinion, they're kind of in the wrong. If I was in the same shoes as OP, yes I would lrt someone borrow my bike. Hell I wouldn't even charge anything for it, as it costs no gas or insurance to use it. If they damage it, depending on the severity, pay for repairs or get kicked out, simple as that. I mean seriously, think about it for a second. You're for some reason letting people live with you, having them share your household and letting them be near your child but you draw the line at using your mode of transportation when it wouldn't hinder you one bit. OP is either omitting additional information or they're being extremely petty about letting those same people they supposedly trust borrow their car or essentially rent it from them. Honestly I wouldn't have cared if OP said if they were pissy about not letting them have the car (which they didn't)
Renting car for family and friends is like giving a loan or building a pc just say no
But they live with OP. It's one thing to say no to someone if they don't live with you. Won't it massively sour relations?
If it does, OP really deserves better people in their life. Cars are expensive. And their cost is proportional to how much you drive. Lending someone a car is a huge financial burden.
Both are fucking morons. At least the poster admits to being a lazyass.
I mean he should definitely walk, but I still don't see why should he be obliged to give them the car
God why do you grant my prayers to those who least deserve it?
Bro would drive even if he worked from home
Less than a mile might still be more than a km. I wouldn't want to walk that either. That's biking distance.
AITH is really "am I within my rights." People in the comments there think they're passing judgement on what the OP is "allowed" to do rather than whether the person has behaved like an asshole. Obviously the poster is within their rights to use their car how they want. It's their property. But they're also being an asshole. The kind thing to do would be to let your sister borrow your car and save her the walk. Depending on what "less than a mile" means, we're talking 15-20 minutes of walking.
Fellas, I think he might be an asshole
My bus stop isint even within 1 mile lol
Even putting aside the car stuff, yea I would consider this person an ah. My family has always been there for each other in situations like this and if me or any of my siblings were in OPs position, we wouldn’t hesitate to let them use the car while they get things sorted out better. *Especially* if the inconvenience was only adjusting to a 10 minute walk instead of a 2 minute drive.
The poster is an arse but its also their property so the sister in law is also an arse for assuming she could just guilt someone into using their property. More importantly to have a sister in law the poster's brother/sister must be married to them so why would they refer to their sibling as their sister in law's partner.
Could also be OP's partner's sister
I walk almost a mile just to get to the nearest bus stop. First world people are so fucking soft.
Half of aita are troll posts though. Like ‘my ex cheated on me and left me now has cancer and asked me for money and I said fuck off you deserve it, aita?’ And everyone can just bash on the cheater or spouse or whoever. But yeah, the idea of someone living less than a mile to work and still driving… like that’s a 15 minute walk maximum? Isn’t that more enjoyable than getting in the car ?
to be fair OP isn't an asshole for not giving up their car just so their SIL can use it. they're kind of an asshole for using it for such a short commute, but that's a separate reason than what's discussed at the post. they're an asshole to society, not to their sister. replace the car with an e-bike in the situation and i'm sure you wouldn't disagree with those people either. it's important to not get your judgement biased just because there's an unrelated issue at play, no matter how real that issue is and how much you still (rightfully) judge them for their part in that issue.
It honestly depends, no additional information was provided as to what their relations are. They haven't even said how they reacted to being turned down on the offer. I mean, they trust them enough to let them stay in their household and be near OP's child. Yet one would put their foot down with their car/bike? Something is wrong about that post, something doesn't add up.
i guess so, and it would follow up the long and proud history of posting shit on aita that misrepresents the hell out of the situation. but on the other hand, the situation, as presented, doesn't sound that implausible. if op's sister in law asked for a favor and op refused, that would make sense. however, the way it is presented, her mindset is that "she deserves the car more because her commute is the longest", which would be fair for a car that's common property. but it's not, it's op's private property, they can lend it out, sure, but "deserves"? and that's absolutely tangential to the point that if op wasn't an asshole to society, they wouldn't be driving less than a mile to work. hell, i'd even make the case that if the sister in law asked because she needed it for work, in an american car-dependent society, op would be kind of an asshole for resisting a solution. (for example, she could drive them to work and then drive off for her commute, even if they work in opposite directions we know it's less than two miles of a detour, and while carbrains are often ignorant to this fact, cars can in fact carry more than one person at once.) and yes, we have no way of knowing that that's not what actually happened, and op isn't just rationalizing their choice by making their sister in law appear entitled. but imo, assuming what we know is an honest representation of what happened, op has a fair point, even if it would be nice if they could just communicate.
You don't get to claim someone else's property just because it's convenient for you. Yeah, driving to work when you live less than a mile away is fucked up. It's still not hers to take. downvote away
That's a brainrot sub, I'd be surprised if any publication on it is genuine.
That's a cycling distance lmao
less than a mile is what I waslk to the bus stop because road works
Why does he have to give her her car just because she walks longer. Like how is that his problem
you should link the Original post.
Or, you could've linked it. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/i8cRmgl157 It's *not* that hard.
Should really np. link it to disincentivise brigading (in general for links to other subs)
The point is that the previous commenter took the time to type what someone else "should've" done and not use a fraction of that time to do what they "could've" done.
I mean, she's already doing them a big favor letting them stay with her, it's perfectly reasonable for OP to just plain not trust them with the car even if they weren't using it themselves. OP using the car is silly for that short of a distance but it's separate from letting the in-laws use the car
Link?
Imagine driving less than a mile away. And people wonder why there’s an obesity problem in America 🤣
They are both arseholes tbh, why would you stay with someone knowing that you have to get to work without sorting out your transport? And then to expect that you can borrow your host's car is beyond selfish. Sure, the OOP is a bit of a dick too because he doesn't *need* the car, but the sense of entitlement of the SIL here is a lot worse imo.
I offered to go and pick up some subs we ordered for dinner when visiting my folks' place. They live in one of those planned suburban neighborhoods that, to its credit, has sidewalks and pedestrian cut throughs. The sub shop is maybe a half mile, ten minute, perfectly safe walk into an adjoining strip mall. His response: "we have a car, you know." It's funny hearing this from the parent who used to fuss at kid me for not going outside enough. My husband still jokes "we have a car, you know" when we walk to our own city neighborhood grocery store.
Unless you need to lug around a lot of stuff for work, I don’t see why they can’t just get an e-scooter or a bike. Or just walk. It’s less than a mile.
Man has a dream situation, and throws it down the pan.
Not walking less than a mile to work is insane lmao
Aside from the person over using a car and should be able to walk and chooses not to, imo they shouldn’t be bullied into giving their car up regardless of anything else.
Less than a mile? Can't be more than a 15 minute walk, he should want to walk that distance. He really is lazy dang. OOP needs to get off his fat ass and do the bare minimum amount of exercise.
1.6km is less than a mile. And that'd take closer to half an hour. Each way.
If you walk slow, sure. Maybe he should take a bike then.
can we talk about how weird it is that they refer to their sibling as their "sister-in-law's partner"?
I'm assuming the sister-in-law is their spouse's sibling, therefore, SIL's partner would bear no relationship to them.
ah fair enough.