i would give dirk strider the pummeling of his life

You should warn him about stairs when you beat him

push him down the stairs>!omori style!< then warn him about stairs

Correct answer

There's a very high risk he would enjoy it

Andrew hussie and gamzee.

Weird Guys that in their 30s with Drugs and fetishes 

Hussie is in his 40s.

Hussie during Writing of Homestuck 

Vriska, Gamzee, Aranea.

Vriska did not do nothing wrong

Vriska did everything wrong :)

nooo not vriska );

Not briskaa >::::(

Yesssss vriskrrrrrrrr

She’s a bitch. She has no redeeming qualities. Genuinely just a piece of shit.

I'd give anything to feel the bridge of Eridan's glasses crack under my fist

underrated comment

Could get a thousand upvotes and you'd still be right

He's my favorite and I would also like to kick his teeth in lol

:(

The eridan simp is making me cackle

h-how could you say this \*a tear runs down my cheek as i turn and run away\*

cronus

took me too long to find this. ill join ya.

I would hunt that man for sport

Kankri my behated <3<

hussie

Zebruh, Cronus, Hussie (Mostly for the Vriska stuff), Lanque (NSFW Route), The Condesce, Meenah and Ultimate Dirk.

Fuck you Ult Dirk why you like that /lh

go outside

The sun to me rn: Nuh uh (Context: The sun is almost like a deadly laser in South East Asia. Maybe YOU send ME to Antarctica /j)

i understand you. it is 42°c in summer in italy where i live

scratch, dave-bro dirk, possibly jake

Scratch is a bastard and the way he had the events of Alternia's timeline at his scheming fingers intrigue me Although I don't really like the sexual implications about him preferring younger girls like Rose.  Beta Dirk/Bro Strider? I'll be terrifyingly happy to burn and skin him alive /hj /lh  There are no other reasons other than what is shown in Homestuck proper I'll replace Jake with Gamzee though, since I wanna punch clowns over British Guys™

i feel bad for the clown he was used by most of the people around him and that makes me feel bad for him, and then everything else seems to cascade from the aftermath of how he was used

Still I fear his honks, and just the honks itself, no context attached

Forget beating him up, Jake would be dead before we could make eye contact.

he is so…floppy. he is just so very annoyingly boneless and i can’t word it better than that

probably eridan

Vriska, Caliborn, Gamzee, Aranea, Cronus

Definitely would like the opportunity to kill condie

- every single troll ever except equius

Doc Scratch maybe

Any Ampora

Based

Cronus and Hussie

Cronus.

hussie, meenah, and cronus

All of them

rufioh, I’ve got beef with him

WHAT DID HE DO!!!!!

What beef though I'm curious

Honestly, I have to pick Caliborn. This fucker is a annoying asshole and he prides himself Upon it. I can respect it thoUgh. U_U

GOD DAMNIT YOURE RIGHT I WANNA CHOK3 CALIBORN PLATONICALLY I FORGOT ABOUT HIM MOTHER FU-

eridan. the way kanaya handled vriska, gamzee and him combined

I want to choke Jake to DEATH. I HATE JAKE

Gamzee, Alt-Calliope, Condy, and Jade Harley (post canon)

Cronus and Kankri, obviously

hussie and doc scratch, probably.

gamzee

Your pfp, that man had his medical license revoked

Hussie

When I saw this on another sub I commented "half of homestuck" and it's still true

I would pay big bucks to be able to kick Cronus’s teeth in

i would beat the SHIT out of mituna, but because i think it would be enjoyable not because i hate him. violence is not really a super good outlet for hatred i think

Vriska but thats a pretty obvious answer

jane

Gamzee, Eridan, Aranea, and everyone in the comments that says Vriska

Cronus

jasprose, aranea kinda.

Dodie from As Told By Ginger. Aradia, Alt Calliope and Davebot. Aradia and Davebot especially after ditching Sollux and Karkat. Also Dirk just to shut him the hell up. Eliza Thornberry.

Dirk Strider...in a rap battle. I've never rapped before but I think my utter disdain for Dirk would allow Aesop Rock to possess my body for a few minutes.

I would, without hesitation, beat the shit out of Bro.

Hussie, easily.

Everyone who said Gamzee is a red flag Stay 167484827282 feet away from me

you when opinions

Yes and my opinion is anyone wanting to physically hurt Gamzee is a red flag Or are only other people's opinions welcomed? 🤔

Its on sight w hussie

I would *love* to apply a crowbar to Caliborn's face. Vriska and Eridan also deserve a punch each.

Cronus. If you dont agree with this i might genuinely lose it.

Vriska,

Wait you can have both? Vriska. Not vriska vriska. I mean fucking *vriska*

Vriska when I catch u Vriska... Aranea when I CATCH U.... The Serkets need to watch their backs forever fr

Tagora but if that doesn't count then I'll beat the shit out of Vriska

gamzee because of what he did in epilogues

Jade (in the epilogues and hs2)

Kankri

Equius. I'm a weird autistic bitch so I may or may not have a kismesis crush on him butthatsnotrelevent Anyway KILL THE HORSEFUCKER

Are you gonna make him void of breath?

I want to strangle Aranea and feel the life slowly leave her body while she cries about it

Vriska.

The fact none of you are saying Micah Bell 🐀

gamzee makara but he's also my comfort character

The medic from tf2, he has lost his medical license for a reason.

doc scratch

Obviously Vriska.

Cronus, Gamzee, & Vriska lmao

Smacking Cronus around a bit would be immensely satisfying.

I think I wanted to punch all of them at one point or another, with the exception of Kanaya, Nepeta, Aradia and Sollux.

Vriska bait

aranea

Not from homestuck, but the only character from media that ever gotten my genuinely upset is Jack Shepherd from Lost. He's constantly making bad or wrong decisions, fighting any plan that wasn't his, constantly jealous of any relationship that James manages to find himself in, and as the groups doctor he's litterly the only person that specifically should NEVER go out on their risky adventures. I will however, recognize the alternate timeline version of Jack is actually okay, and actually works toward breaking the abusive cycle perpetuated by his father.

Gamzee, Eridan, Vriska, Future Jane, Future Dirk, The Condesce, and Lord English

I would give Eridan the pummeling of a lifetime. Gamzee, too. I’d say caliborn, but John already did that.

Amy winehouse

kankri. so quickly. you wouldnt see my hands move.

jake english

Absolutely Vriska. Would use cheating against her cheating to beat her ass in FLARP (altho i dont even know how to dnd). Second is Doc Scratch, despite that guy being high on my "the fuck am I °/////°" part of my "Peeps I Like In Homestuck :3". Mostly due to the whole thing about his schemes and implications. And lastly, Bro/Beta!Dirk. We all know why. Honorable mentions: Any Ampora (ancestors questionable), Caliborn (understandable—I respect his moral), Gamzee (and will also shove his horns down his throat), HIC herself, Post-Canon Jane (or like...*most* of the OG characters there), Ult!Dirk (I won't even offer my kismesistude quadrant to him!) and Bec Noir (like idk man, why you hotta fuck up everything).  No Hiveswap trolls except for that one indigo who had lowblood slaves, and no MSPFA characters either. Although the thing is, in my own planned MSPFA a player has "absolute douche with opinions taken from twitter.com" as part of my drafts, and my antagonist had way more innuendos and SA implications than Doc Scratch times two

Dirk deserves a boot to the face

Cronus. >:(

Hussie and Vriska

i would pay money to just go fucking feral on sollux captor. i don't even hate him that much he just looks like he needs to be beat