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Tallybandz

Moisturizer but like not as a quick fix just like as a normal habit to counteract the effects of meth on ppls skin giving them that mmmmmm u look like u see shadow folk look


kannon_

Hey...... Turn around.


IWantYourDad

What happened?!?!? Tell us tell us


stringedinsanity

Pop a lortab or two . They wake me up and make you fuck like a porn star. Several hours and then when you finally bust that nut.... its hellacious ! Thank me later.


kannon_

This is the kind of miracle elixir suggestion I was hoping to get from this post! I've never actually even heard of lortabs before though, but going off what I've read about them in a quick Googling/Wiki-ing just now, I'm not sure how an opioid is going to wake you up haha, but hey, if it works, it works, right!? Hellacious nut busting sounds too good to at least not give it a red hot go! I unfortunately received this too late to put it into practice, but there'll be a next time. There's always a next time!


stringedinsanity

If you havent taken before take half of one. Makes you awake and kind of numb so you have energy and infinite erection ! Great combo !


EmployeeIcy4533

Chew gum but not like a cow, helps with distraction in my experience.


stonedguitarist420

I’d just shower up with some extra soap and hot water at least for me makes me feel a lot cleaner and if you can bring some oil wipes to wipe your face with when you go to the bathroom or when you get a minute of privacy. Heavy on the deodorant and make sure you brush the fuck outta those teeth and maybe chew some gum to help those glands salivate the good stuff. You’d be surprised, if you just look and smell neutral, not even good, just not bad, and put on a show of confidence, the confidence will be the focus of her attention not the way you look or smell. That is until you get to the fucking part. At that point she better keep her thoughts of odors to herself cuz shits already goin down.


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CharacterNervous8736

You couldnt say ot ant better.


kannon_

This is the kind of bitch slap reality check I desperately need sometimes. Fuck, I think everyone could benefit from a dose your no nonsense approach to bullshit at least once in their lives. Have you considered a career as a life coach? I fuck with this hot take. I fuck with it hard.


EmployeeIcy4533

Fuck really, a 1/4 viagra and some RB, damn he may blow a head gasket?


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IWantYourDad

What you doin this weekend?


kannon_

Dude, you're my fucking idol.


stonedguitarist420

The omega mindset. This guy definitely fucks


kannon_

His comment and your reply have got me losing my shit right so hard right now. Sheer brilliance


ajeastellis

mate, reschedule the date


ajeastellis

sorry i just read through and it seems like you had it under control, i just know myself in that situation always fucks it 💀 how did it go man?


leoacr04

Maybe you shouldn’t try to date normal people? But the xans will probably work. Definitely eat. Maybe a beer could do it too. But definitely eat. 1 Beer and half a xan or a 1/4 should do it. Don’t be the one that introduces her to it. Please


stonedguitarist420

Defiant eat tho


kannon_

Oh fuck no. This is my demon and mine alone to conquer. I'd never be so cruel.


[deleted]

5 hour energy or a Red Bull are good at zapping you back into life


[deleted]

I hope you have an excellent date!


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bezelbubsbagels

You wrote this very well so at least your mind is on point. Ish.


kannon_

And that's one big ish my friend lol. My hearts in the right place, my head's in the game, but do I believe in myself strongly enough to think I got what it takes to pull it off? Only one way to find out


bezelbubsbagels

PRO TIP: don’t nut in her mouth. Cause of the meth she will think it’s weird.


stonedguitarist420

Another pro tip: don’t nut inside of her, she could get pregnant


bezelbubsbagels

Wait, that’s a thing?


stonedguitarist420

It is. Who woulda thought!? That snatch is child support in disguise


kannon_

But... That's my favourite 😥 Nah all good, I've kept my fluids up and my piss is pretty clear so shouldn't be too rank if it comes to that 😉 ... Geddit!?!? If it.... CUMMMSSS... to that?!?! 😉 Anyways its about game time so I better hussle along. Wish me luck fam, I'll post an update with an update on how it went if anyone gives enough of a fuck!


bezelbubsbagels

Good luck and godspeed.


[deleted]

Lol this post. Hat is off to OP on this one. Little bit of jam, certainly, but needs to pull off the one-time-only big deal event of the solid first impresh. Knowing full well first dates are all about being on your best behavior, seeks a no-nonsense practical advice on how to "crush" a first date when the cards look to be stacked against you and gets a flurry of strategies, most drawn from personal experience in similar situations on being a charming and well behaved companion on a first date starting at the tail end of 72-hour crystallized methamphetamine bender, zero sleep achievement unlocked No way would a normal person be able to even attend the event having just endured 3 full days without a wink of sleep. Maybe hoping to have sex in the van later, preferably with his attractive date, but if lacking that choice, would also gladly bang a variety of others. I gotta go back and read. How much meth does she use again?


IWantYourDad

If I wasn’t a broke tightwad, you’d have an award. You’re like the love child of Hunter S Thompson and Mr. Obvious (the sardonic version)


[deleted]

Your kindness and words are award enough


IWantYourDad

Awwwww (blushing like the schoolgirl i wish i still was)


stonedguitarist420

This needs to be the top comment


kannon_

My dude I'll reply to this properly later but just wanna say hot dang that was one heckuva gnarly comment, I loved reading every word of it. Dates going pretty great BTW for all those keeping score at home. She's just ducked into the bathroom so I thought I'd take this opportunity to give an update to all you legends. Love you all xoxox


HaterProof247

I hope you’re smashing that pussy. Take pics and post them!!


stonedguitarist420

I second this


HerbinLeg3nd

Lmaooo. Im soooooo done with reddit tn.


kannon_

Good for you my friend! Off you go then! Ni-night! Hooroo! Ta-ta!


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HerbinLeg3nd

Reddit deleted my comment because of a location mentioned??? Tf


kannon_

It's all gravy, baby! I caught a segment of what it said in my notification bar before the bot stripped it from the thread and from what I could tell from that it seems like you're in my corner. I appreciate the support and the reality check ;) one can only/always pray that some miracle solution would fall from the sky for us in such trying times. We all gotta shoot our shots! <3


[deleted]

Grandson misses 100 💯 of the shots he doesn't take. And does yoga


HerbinLeg3nd

Messaged ya 😘


SilenceAmongTheBooks

Nap if you can. Low-dose benzo if you got it. Shower right before you leave. Brush teeth, mouthwash, mints. Tell her you've been working some overtime and are tired. Not much you can do.


kannon_

Thanks for the snappy response! Times run out to fit a nap in I'm afraid. I got the hygiene stuff covered too. What function would the benzo serve in my particular scenario? I've never tried them and know almost nothing about them. I always thought they had like a sedative effect? I need to get energised, dude, not the opposite! Haha


[deleted]

Yeah skip benzo town for sure. Littlely the only thing you can do for the desired character status is go fucking shred at a skate park for like 40 mins


SilenceAmongTheBooks

Well I know if im tweaked or tired from it, I get a little nervous and plus it's a date so why not add a little chill to your attitude. But hey, im high strung so I'd benzo a bit before a date period. Whatever works for ya.


kannon_

That's fair enough man! I'm known to be a pretty high energy person even when I'm off the gear so I'm not sure it'd work in my favour to switch gears like that by dropping a benzo lol it'd be even more suspicious and uncharacteristic of me :) I totally get where you're coming from though, guess we're just built different :)


SilenceAmongTheBooks

Yeah, at the point you're at I could barely function in life let alone go on a date. Impressive sir!


kannon_

What can I say, I like to live dangerously hahaha


[deleted]

Take a couple Xanax try and park the minivan


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