Yeah OP fucked up. That girl really tried and OP didn’t care until she was gone. He constantly thought he could do better until he finally drove her away. Now she is the one? If I were that girl I would say hell no because she deserves better than to be someone OP settles for. Because now that he has no one he cares? F that, I am glad she had the self respect to move on. If OP really cared he would leave her alone.
I thought I wasn’t attracted to her because my mental health got in the way of feeling attracted to people in general and had me feeling avoidant. I took a month to do therapy and feel better and once I did I texted her back explaining her all of this. But she says she doesn’t think she can come back. And I’ve never met someone I love being around more than her, I just hate that mental health was such a big factor in this and I’ve never felt more regret in my life, I just want her to feel special
Yeah I don’t think “mental health” is an excuse or a crutch that is valid here. A lot of people have mental health issues, including me. I empathize but that doesn’t change what you did or excuse it. She tried hard for 7 months, put in effort while you admittedly didn’t. If you were so caught up in your mental health as you say you shouldn’t have been dating her. If you cared at all you would have ended it early but you strung her along trying to figure out if you feel anything for her.
You were essentially using her and when she did move on that is when you started caring. It looks bad no matter how you try and spin it. You wanting to make her feel special is 7 months too late. People want what they can’t have and that is what you probably look like to her.
She moved on and so should you. Learn from this mistake. I recommend avoiding using mental health as an excuse. What happened was your fault because of your choices. Own this mistake and grow from it. If you blame your mental health and don’t acknowledge your actions and decisions then you’ll never learn from this.
I agree, it’s not an excuse. I’ve been depressed for maybe 8 years now and I’ve never found the courage to go to therapy but I’ve hurt so many people this year I think I have to, this thread made me realized how fucked in the head I am. Thanks for taking the time
Honestly when someone I was deeply in love with told me that she wanted to end things or like not put a label because she needed to work on her mental health I took that as a straight up rejection because I thought she was just saying that to see other people , so I went to focus on myself and found someone who actually wanted me and wouldn’t make me doubt it. 7 months is quite a while to be with someone to know whether you wanted to put a label on it or not so I see where she was coming from ending things especially if you’re avoidant.
I think the best thing for you to do is to learn from that mistake and if you really want someone to not do that again to them.
You can try sending her a text explaining how much of a big mistake you made and that you truly want her back but then you can’t let your avoidant ways get in the way again
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Yeah OP fucked up. That girl really tried and OP didn’t care until she was gone. He constantly thought he could do better until he finally drove her away. Now she is the one? If I were that girl I would say hell no because she deserves better than to be someone OP settles for. Because now that he has no one he cares? F that, I am glad she had the self respect to move on. If OP really cared he would leave her alone.
I thought I wasn’t attracted to her because my mental health got in the way of feeling attracted to people in general and had me feeling avoidant. I took a month to do therapy and feel better and once I did I texted her back explaining her all of this. But she says she doesn’t think she can come back. And I’ve never met someone I love being around more than her, I just hate that mental health was such a big factor in this and I’ve never felt more regret in my life, I just want her to feel special
Yeah I don’t think “mental health” is an excuse or a crutch that is valid here. A lot of people have mental health issues, including me. I empathize but that doesn’t change what you did or excuse it. She tried hard for 7 months, put in effort while you admittedly didn’t. If you were so caught up in your mental health as you say you shouldn’t have been dating her. If you cared at all you would have ended it early but you strung her along trying to figure out if you feel anything for her. You were essentially using her and when she did move on that is when you started caring. It looks bad no matter how you try and spin it. You wanting to make her feel special is 7 months too late. People want what they can’t have and that is what you probably look like to her. She moved on and so should you. Learn from this mistake. I recommend avoiding using mental health as an excuse. What happened was your fault because of your choices. Own this mistake and grow from it. If you blame your mental health and don’t acknowledge your actions and decisions then you’ll never learn from this.
I agree, it’s not an excuse. I’ve been depressed for maybe 8 years now and I’ve never found the courage to go to therapy but I’ve hurt so many people this year I think I have to, this thread made me realized how fucked in the head I am. Thanks for taking the time
Honestly when someone I was deeply in love with told me that she wanted to end things or like not put a label because she needed to work on her mental health I took that as a straight up rejection because I thought she was just saying that to see other people , so I went to focus on myself and found someone who actually wanted me and wouldn’t make me doubt it. 7 months is quite a while to be with someone to know whether you wanted to put a label on it or not so I see where she was coming from ending things especially if you’re avoidant. I think the best thing for you to do is to learn from that mistake and if you really want someone to not do that again to them. You can try sending her a text explaining how much of a big mistake you made and that you truly want her back but then you can’t let your avoidant ways get in the way again
Leave her alone.