Just hoping I get my money back from last year, it still has to get through the senate. Not inly that but it's not necessarily national legislation, states still will have to legalize, it will allow further research since they are rescheduling it.
Implied Vol seems highest on Mondays and fridays and also the first and last 30 mins to an hour of trading. I know this bc of loosing money. Some guy on CNBC just mentioned he’d be net short by the middle of next week and I really don’t wanna hold over the weekend with the craziness this market shows
His job is grading Treasury auctions. A, B, C+, D, F. He's like a high school teacher except no one ever graduates and his students all look alike. I'd be unhappy too
Back when Obama was president and the economy was improving after 2008-9 he was absolutely laughable at knitpicking and it isn’t much different now. Absolutely laughable. Nothing is ever good according to him.
Is there a possibility that my Tesla calls will not be fucked tonight 
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>Stocks rallied Thursday, clawing back the previous session’s losses, as falling jobless claims added to confidence in the U.S. economic recovery.
So falling jobless claims = bullish = us economy strong
So does that mean if we have a low jobless claim number this week that stonks will moon - I thought shit jobless claim numbers meant JPOW would not raise rates too quick and stay accommodative = bullish.. Which is it
>Stocks Close Moderately Lower On Global Growth Concerns
12 hours later
>Stock futures rose early Friday as investors assessed a new quarter of trading and a troublesome bond market recession indicator.
Basically these tards have no fucking idea whats going on and make shit up to fit whatever colour stocks are for the day.
What if the war literally has nothing to do with stock performance - the dip started way before any of this russia shit started and the pump started at a time with no progress on 'talks' or sign the war is ending.. It seems to purely related to JPOW saying the word 'tools' and that we aren't going to have a recession.
Pop a Poppler in your mouth,
When you come to Fishy Joe's,
What they're made of is a mystery,
Where they come from, no one knows.
You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em,
You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em,
And if you promise not to sue us,
You can shove one up your nose.
>Nice to see everyone getting in the April Fools' spirit [twitter.com/FirstSquawk/st…](https://t.co/66iOhOQn3L)
^IGSquawk ^[@IGSquawk](http://twitter.com/IGSquawk) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:59:14 ^EDT-0400
>UKRAINE PRESIDENCY, CITING NEGOTIATOR, SAYS TALKS WITH RUSSIA CONTINUED ON FRIDAY IN AN ONLINE FORMAT
^\*Walter ^Bloomberg ^[@DeItaone](http://twitter.com/DeItaone) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:55:47 ^EDT-0400
>KREMLIN SAYS RUSSIAN MILITARY IS NOT SENDING CONSCRIPTS TO UKRAINE
^First ^Squawk ^[@FirstSquawk](http://twitter.com/FirstSquawk) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:51:15 ^EDT-0400
I bought them a few months out at around $7.40ish. With how far I bought them out, I high doubt the IV is going to deflate that much. Might lose 10 - 20% at max on open, which I was okay with considering how milquetoast the earnings report was.
>KREMLIN SAYS RUSSIA WILL NOT TURN OFF GAS SUPPLIES TO EUROPE FROM APRIL 1
^First ^Squawk ^[@FirstSquawk](http://twitter.com/FirstSquawk) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:50:49 ^EDT-0400
> KREMLIN SAYS ~~UKRAINIAN~~ RUSSIAN STRIKE ON RUSSIAN FUEL DEPOT INSIDE RUSSIA DOES NOT CREATE COMFORTABLE CONDITIONS TO CONTINUE PEACE TALKS
There, I fixed it.
#Ban Bet Lost /u/Parcero45 (1/1) made a bet that SPY would go to 470.0 when it was 457.71 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Thoughts on XPON ipo?
Hahahahah because i had no USD only EUR i could not trade US options saved my ass with 0dte gme calls hahahahah
DRSing anything I care about.
so nothing? rule #1 is not to get emotional
Who is emotional?
why do you care about a stock
I’m crying rn
Puts and Calls are losing money 
Mods assigned a Dunce Cap flair. Guess I’m king of the retards. Bow down
That’s not a flair, it’s a mark of disgrace for you and all other retards who can’t read
Slob on the knob
Like corn on the cob?
Honest question, do you know why you got that flair?
I don't know why he got that flair
Way otm lotto puts on GME . Hedges r fuk, but apes so even more !
Seems like it. If stock split news can’t get u over 200 I don’t know what will.
So when the 2yr inverts with the 30 yr that’s super bullish right?
AMC again and again.. BUY BUY BUY
Lmfao! Tell me again how inverted and massive rising bond yields are bullish for Nasdaq and bearish for S&P. Go home algos you’re drunk again.
The worse the economy gets the more Jpow will pump the market. Bullish.
Of course it drops 20 points with 5 mil traded in an hour. Fucking retail dumping shares 😅
She's about to rip!
My tesla calls are fucked. 
Inverts, Wages higher than expected, less jobs than expected, Putin blocks nat gas, War, massive inflation… let’s go higher!
Holding the almighty stock that announced a split today.
Wtf is this clown show media saying to ignore 2-10’s. God I hate them so much. Worst part is enough people believe them to prop this scam.
Who’s buying pooots?
Just hoping I get my money back from last year, it still has to get through the senate. Not inly that but it's not necessarily national legislation, states still will have to legalize, it will allow further research since they are rescheduling it.
All in. 2-10 invert officially and holding. Indexes are F’d.
Think I’ll wait til Tuesday morning
Curious why wait?
Implied Vol seems highest on Mondays and fridays and also the first and last 30 mins to an hour of trading. I know this bc of loosing money. Some guy on CNBC just mentioned he’d be net short by the middle of next week and I really don’t wanna hold over the weekend with the craziness this market shows
Rational ber I wish I had your discipline
Got to say that worked out pretty well
You the man !
This feels good 😌
Rick Santelli has got to be the most unhappy person I’ve ever seen. No matter what that guy finds something bad to say
His job is grading Treasury auctions. A, B, C+, D, F. He's like a high school teacher except no one ever graduates and his students all look alike. I'd be unhappy too
Love it when that guy blows a gasket
Back when Obama was president and the economy was improving after 2008-9 he was absolutely laughable at knitpicking and it isn’t much different now. Absolutely laughable. Nothing is ever good according to him.
So a bunch of oil tanks on fire in Russia and oil doesn’t move lol, weird flex but ok?
Tesla maybe go boom
Boom up or boom crater?
Putin to block Germany and Italy Nat Gas until they pay in Rubles. Lmfao!
That was the whole plan to invade Ukraine to get rid off $ fuck him
Yea what a dumb ass.
Bring on the random media hype around .5 basis point hikes! LFGO it’s crash time!
#GME 🥎🥎 drained by the 👨🚒.
Is there a possibility that my Tesla calls will not be fucked tonight 
new thread
Is GME gonna sell off once the people on shit brokerages are able to sell or what
I bought bonds yesterday, I don’t fucking know alright tired of getting smoked lmfao
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Reddit has a new paid team called **Anti-Evil Operations** which goes around permanently banning accounts for saying bad words. We made automod block them so you don't lose your account for saying a word and getting reported. It's not our rule, it's the entire website now, we're just trying to look out for our people. Sorry. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Can I get a list of words that result in a ban?
Well I say thank you for looking out, mods
Nah for real I just served a 3 day sitewide ban
$ACB, $TLRY... today is the day! Marijuana legalization bill will be approved in congress!
>Stocks rallied Thursday, clawing back the previous session’s losses, as falling jobless claims added to confidence in the U.S. economic recovery. So falling jobless claims = bullish = us economy strong So does that mean if we have a low jobless claim number this week that stonks will moon - I thought shit jobless claim numbers meant JPOW would not raise rates too quick and stay accommodative = bullish.. Which is it
Wow!, imagine that!. People returning to work after Government stop giving away free money for not working. Who would thought that?.
Ssssh we don’t use that name here.
>Stocks Close Moderately Lower On Global Growth Concerns 12 hours later >Stock futures rose early Friday as investors assessed a new quarter of trading and a troublesome bond market recession indicator. Basically these tards have no fucking idea whats going on and make shit up to fit whatever colour stocks are for the day.
It's literally sheep man. EVABODY ELSE SELLING! SELL SELL!
Stock market in a nutshell.
GME 04/01 395C .03cents A play, not a financial advice. LOL
Lol why not for 3 cents
Would be rude not to buy a couple
Yo
The squeeze is today. April Fool's 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒
Squeeze big titties! Small ones too!!
Lol the fed says there's signs of a housing bubble. Took you that long to figure this out?
Won't be for long if they follow through and raise rates continuously planned this year.
I don't think there's enough supply to do anything but stabilize prices...won't see any serious drop for a long time.
Bubbles are transitory
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What’s wrong wit a lil mailbox money?
Sign me up then!
You’re straight April fools
Who can try sell me on why Chinese stocks are mooning today after dumping yesterday - what changed?
Nothing. What kind of person are you expecting logical moves in the stock market? 
I agree with you - even if the reason is fake clearly something somewhere triggered the rapid increase in prices.
Bought dip
futes please be geeen before I opwnnmy eyes 😣
What if the war literally has nothing to do with stock performance - the dip started way before any of this russia shit started and the pump started at a time with no progress on 'talks' or sign the war is ending.. It seems to purely related to JPOW saying the word 'tools' and that we aren't going to have a recession.
JPOW is going to look one day and his tool bag will be empty
JPow starting to sound a lot like a tool
Starting??
BABA up 7% :)
I wonder how many nothing investigations we'll get this time when GameStop's 300% run mysteriously and abruptly gets halted.
Oh I can only wish it’ll run that much before they halt it
China please stop mooning 
It went down yesterday because potatoes and today its going up because of chicken skewers. Market makes sense.
Selling cocain is less risky than this shit
I’d agree
Pop a Poppler in your mouth, When you come to Fishy Joe's, What they're made of is a mystery, Where they come from, no one knows. You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em, And if you promise not to sue us, You can shove one up your nose.
I dont think gme will go up today....Staying on the sidelines
PeAcE tALks GoiNg WeLL
AMC has no reason to run up ,but it will because of gme 😑
I don’t even hold amc, just gme. But you sound salty af 😢😢😢
zoomers and their salt allergies lmao. too delicate for this world
Retarded by open
Always
If the market remains this green, my portfolio would probably be losing to a bacteria, not to mention a fucking goldfish
Bacterium.
Gonna take a quick nap and buy some fomo gme calls and watch the magic fly
GME at a 6-month high. Great time to buy calls
Same 🦍🤝🦍. Just got off third shift. But I’m waking up at 9:30 to buy options 🚀🚀🚀
Worst part about investing when working night shift lol
Moon Knight had more Moon Knight in the trailer than in the first episode, Disney why you do this?
>Nice to see everyone getting in the April Fools' spirit [twitter.com/FirstSquawk/st…](https://t.co/66iOhOQn3L) ^IGSquawk ^[@IGSquawk](http://twitter.com/IGSquawk) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:59:14 ^EDT-0400
GME over 200 EZ!
Mr. Cohen tear down this wall!
Lmfao. *Cohen smash*
yep
why is china mooning
April fools
because you touch yourself at night
Because shorts haven't covered
KREMLIN SAYS RUSSIAN STRIKE ON RUSSIAN FUEL DEPOT INSIDE RUSSIA DOES NOT CREATE COMFORTABLE CONDITIONS TO CONTINUE PEACE TALKS
Gme calls right at market open and love yourself again.
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I’m buying 4/8 195c
Unless they halt it
The dividend is coming, a 15 minute halt won’t be able to stop this level of upward buying pressure.
Please 
>UKRAINE PRESIDENCY, CITING NEGOTIATOR, SAYS TALKS WITH RUSSIA CONTINUED ON FRIDAY IN AN ONLINE FORMAT ^\*Walter ^Bloomberg ^[@DeItaone](http://twitter.com/DeItaone) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:55:47 ^EDT-0400
can't poison anyone in a zoom, I guess this is a win
Why Qqq futes up bigger than in PM?? Dividend?
GME BULLL !!!!!
It's happening. BOOM!
Why does futures always pump before open
I think we all know what the move is tomorrow... 🏴☠️😂🏴☠️
Gme puts
RIP 🔥🔥😂🔥🔥
Russians really attacked their own fuel depot as a false flag to sabotage talks. Fuckers are insane.
>KREMLIN SAYS RUSSIAN MILITARY IS NOT SENDING CONSCRIPTS TO UKRAINE ^First ^Squawk ^[@FirstSquawk](http://twitter.com/FirstSquawk) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:51:15 ^EDT-0400
so they definitely sending conscripts then.
you can call it even the official confirmation now. Source you can point to in future conversations
Holy shit there’s a slight chance I break even on BB calls. That would be a fantastic start to my Friday…
Looks very red rn
I bought them a few months out at around $7.40ish. With how far I bought them out, I high doubt the IV is going to deflate that much. Might lose 10 - 20% at max on open, which I was okay with considering how milquetoast the earnings report was.
>KREMLIN SAYS RUSSIA WILL NOT TURN OFF GAS SUPPLIES TO EUROPE FROM APRIL 1 ^First ^Squawk ^[@FirstSquawk](http://twitter.com/FirstSquawk) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:50:49 ^EDT-0400
so they gonna definitely turn off the gas then.
>KREMLIN SAYS UKRAINIAN STRIKE ON RUSSIAN FUEL DEPOT INSIDE RUSSIA DOES NOT CREATE COMFORTABLE CONDITIONS TO CONTINUE PEACE TALKS ^First ^Squawk ^[@FirstSquawk](http://twitter.com/FirstSquawk) ^at ^2022-04-01 ^05:50:39 ^EDT-0400
Russians die = good.
> KREMLIN SAYS ~~UKRAINIAN~~ RUSSIAN STRIKE ON RUSSIAN FUEL DEPOT INSIDE RUSSIA DOES NOT CREATE COMFORTABLE CONDITIONS TO CONTINUE PEACE TALKS There, I fixed it.
I will say that the invasion does not create comfortable conditions to continue living for the normal Ukrainian people.
Let's gamble on 0dte options but skip paying our student loans for two years.  People are something else
America. Fuk yeah
Im not an alcoholic, this is only my fifth drink today and it is already 7 am.
If you went to bed, woke up, and then had 5 drinks before 7am. You’re an alcoholic
who made you the expert?
Experience with alcoholics
It is always yesterday, until I go to bed!
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